We all want our children to be polite bunnies to the joy of relatives. We force them to say the right words to adults and act as they should in society. But at the same time we demand that they do not go after strangers and behave cautiously with adults. Is this a contradiction from the point of view of the child?
I have already unsubscribed here in one of the topics about the problem of the courtesy of my daughter. I will never teach her to say hello and say goodbye, to respond when they turn to her. Every time on the street, in the store, transport, I feel awkward.
For example, a cashier in a supermarket asks a child a question, while she stands, is silent and does not even smile. Absolutely ignoring what is happening around. I understand that the cashier feels silly and I am uncomfortable because of this – I did not teach the child politeness.
Or else a wonderful situation, when one of the children or their parents treats the daughter with something, she may not even take it and at the same time always asks: Why? And maybe take, but also with such a question.
For a long time I was worried, I had short but frequent conversations with my daughter on this matter. Like, you have to be polite, ask – answer. After all, people do not know what you thought. They may decide that you think ill of them.
And then she pulled herself up. Stop! After all, after some time I talk with her about caution with strangers and demand from her a completely different behavior. Exactly what I am now dissatisfied.
Situation at different angles
After hearing the stories and precautions about kidnapping and abuzz, I teach her not to talk to strangers, not to go after them to watch the seals, not to be led to any treats.
In this case, my inner gaze draws such a terrible uncle with oily eyes and a carnivorous smile. And for a child every stranger is a stranger, and I teach each of them to fear.
And so I faced a problem. To teach a child courtesy only with loved ones? With kin let greet, communicate, but not with strangers? But then how will she then, when she grows up, behave among people? Out of habit to be afraid to talk to a stranger?
On the other hand, one must be able to feel the edge, where a stranger can be trusted, and where there is no longer. I remember by myself, I found it when I was already well past 20, and before that I was in unpleasant and dangerous situations.
In general, I have not yet found for myself the answer to the question – how to find a balance between the education of politeness and caution in the student. And you?