The other day I had a dispute with one of the mothers, who in principle gave her son to a dance: she always dreamed that he should move beautifully. At the same time the boy himself is asking for karate. I also drive my daughter to several circles, but she did not ask for one of them herself. How is it better to deal with the interests of the child?
Boys dancing and fighting
The boy’s mother told how she was offered to give him to the dance, so that he became a partner of a classmate. He did not want scary, literally to tears. He cried and asked him not to give it back. But mom decided that her son should move beautifully, so dancing for that is the point.
Naturally, I wondered, but what did the son himself want to do? Of course, martial arts! But mother is firmly convinced that boys and fights is a stereotype that is not applicable to her son. And yet she gave to the dance.
Her argument in our dispute was the fact that I, too, didn’t really ask where she wanted to go, but took her to the section she planned to give three years ago.
My daughter and her interests
It’s true. I knew where to give my daughter for training for a long time, and I didn’t stand at all on the question of giving her to martial arts or not. Of course, give! For her, it was also organic – she has been brewing in this topic since childhood. The question was only how to interest her in this.
After the first training, she refused to go there. Of course, the first reason that comes to the head of an adult is that she is a girl, she is not interested in fighting. In fact, in children, the reasons for abandoning something can be absolutely fantastic.
In our case, the problem turned out to be that in training everything is sweaty around and she, too. And she is unpleasant. She explained that no matter where she went to train, karate or dance, in the summer everyone will be sweaty.
Now it’s cool in the hall, no one is sweating, and everything has turned out fine with her. The team gathered very friendly, and she goes to workouts with great pleasure.
But I also listen to her. At home, she has since her childhood beats up different scenes from games or cartoons, likes to sing and dance. Therefore, when I learned that there was a theater group at school, I happily gave it there.
At first she tried to find out if she was interested in it, if she wanted to go there. After listening to what it is, she gave me: Mom, and how do you want? So I went or did not go ?. She explained that if she walks because I want, she will be ill. And if at will, then good.
And then she issued her decision – I want! What came of it, I told in the previous topic.
My summary of this is to listen to the child, but it is necessary to find out the reasons for the child’s desire or unwillingness to do something. Sometimes they are easily removable. That is, the child support and adjust.
And how are your relations with the interests of the child?