As I promised you earlier, today I want to describe to you how to manage children, which psychologists often use. It’s about neurolinguistic programming again. Thanks to NLP, you can find ways to manage children without harming their self-esteem, their dignity and their own self.
After reading a lot of books on psychology, I involuntarily began to notice that it became much easier for me to communicate with my husband and child – I tried to understand them first, and then offer them the most advantageous option that would take into account the interests of each.
For example, offering my son clothes for a walk, I give him the right to choose – several sets of clothes that he can wear. I offer these kits to him, based on my preferences, the weather and my choice, but I do not injure the child’s psyche with my orders, I allow me to make my own conscious choice.
My child management motives
one. A great desire for the good of your child. I try to warn the child against major mistakes, from diseases and life’s misfortunes. I want to teach a child what will help him easier to enter adult life.
2 I wish to see my best continuation in my son. I really want to convey all that to my child, what I learned and understood in life. Even more I want the son to achieve even more in the future than we and my husband can achieve together.
There are also other motives for managing children:
– personal approval of the father and mother through the success of their children;
– The solution of psychological problems (own fears, uncertainty, etc.).
Ways to manage children
So, with the motives figured out, now let’s talk about ways to manage the child:
one. Switch attention. Remember how, in infancy, we took away dangerous objects from the child, switching his attention to another more colorful and vibrant toy? This method is applicable to older age.
2 We apply the hidden threat.
– Go, please buy some bread.
– No time. I’m busy. I play a new game.
– Speaking of time. Need to find some time and go to your school.
– And let me go for the bread!
Instead of school there can be any weak point of the child.
3. Blackmail under the mask
You can seek the right actions from the child (for example, to tighten the studies) if you blackmail him with the ignorance of one of the parents:
– Dad does not know about bad grades, but we will not tell him anything if you correct bad grades.
4. Comparison as stimulation
– Your sister learns much better than you, but jeans asks less often than you.
Simultaneous comparison and guilt is able to put the child in a frame that is adopted by adults in the family.
5. Excitement of motivation in a child
Very often, the child gets bored to learn to write or read, do homework or attend music school. The best way to get the child to finish the job is to make him self-motivated. It is necessary to make so that the child himself wanted to finish the recently boring business.
When the child of my friend was bored with learning to read, she arranged for him a letter of invitation for a birthday from a familiar girl. To read this letter to parents, it seems, there was no time. After a couple of days, they took the time to read the letter, but it was too late – the birthday had already passed. The son was worried, but now he wanted to learn how to read and his efforts were very diligent.
Much depends on parents
Above are only those methods of manipulation that I used in my life or my acquaintances used in the lives of my children. There are a lot of similar ways to manage children, some of them are devoted to whole volumes of books on psychology. Each mother develops her own ways to control the child, and sometimes, they are identical to those described by leading psychologists in their lectures.
The main thing for parents is to love their child and desire good for him. To learn how to manage a child for the benefit of him without hooking on his own I need to know a lot in the field of psychology, so the continuation of this topic follows. Be wise!