Yesterday, in a lift, a neighbor complained to me that her fifteen-year-old daughter had fallen in love and had completely strayed off her hands: she began to snap, later on coming home. I immediately remembered my little sister, who had recently also experienced her first love.
First love is like chickenpox – almost everybody got sick with it. First love is one of the components of human maturation, its formation as a person. However, how first love will affect the future fate and character of a person depends in large part on adults next to a teenager.
The most common mistakes of parents
In any case, whether you like it or not, your grown-up son or daughter will fall in love. This can not be avoided, as it is impossible to avoid the arrival of winter or summer, rain or sunset. It remains only to come to terms with this and not to allow common mistakes that can spoil the relationship of a teenager with his parents.
In no case do not criticize the chosen one or the chosen one of your child. If you start expressing your claims, they will at best be met by a wall of deaf silence, and at worst – by frank irritation and resentment on the part of the child.
Do not forbid the child to meet with his object of love – by this you will alienate your son or daughter from yourself. And it will not be so easy to restore damaged relationships.
Besides, don’t spy on a child – do not delve into his personal belongings, computer or mobile phone. In the event that a child notices that you are following him, the most terrible thing can happen – the child will no longer trust you.
And finally, the last and most important mistake of many parents – do not assume that the teenager is still an innocent child. Sexual intercourse among teenagers is not uncommon.
How to behave parents
In the event that something does not suit you in choosing a child, keep your opinion with you. It would be much more reasonable to speak frankly with the child, finding out what attracts him in this person. However, one should not confuse a frank conversation with notations and lectures – this will only aggravate the situation.
Give your child a little more freedom.. No matter how strange it may sound – like your permission will bring the child only benefit. First, the child will appreciate what you consider to be his responsible and mature person. Secondly, he will definitely not skip classes and lie to you about his true location.
If you are a boy’s parents, give him some more pocket money, than usual. After all, he, like a true man, should be able to take his girlfriend to a cafe or cinema, or at least just buy her ice cream. This will avoid the fact that the child starts to take money from friends, or even get into some adventure.
Sure to talk to your child about such a delicate subject as sex. Tell us about the precautions: protection from sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy. If the child does not want to go into open conversation, you should leave in a prominent place literature on this topic.