Recently in kindergarten where my 5-year-old daughter goes, there was a parent meeting.
Every time, educators make efforts to make the meeting interesting. Everyone knows that the main theme is the collection of money.
In order to relieve the situation a bit, educators organize tea drinking for parents, during which the conversation takes on an informal character.
What are parent directives?
I heard about parental directives for the first time during a tea party after a parent meeting (thanks to educators). I want to share information with you.
Directives are phrases that we often say, without thinking about what impact they will have on the child. In other words, it is the orders of the parent, formulated in a harmless manner.
As a result, the child feels guilty in front of the parent, not realizing it.
Don’t live. It is this terrible phrase that is meant by phrases like Get out of my eyes, You have only one problem, or if you were not, we would live peacefully. These are terrible words, but I have heard them from my mothers more than once.
Don’t be a child. This is what we mean when we say to the baby: You are already big! Do not act like a little or it’s time you become independent. The child who has heard this will certainly want to grow up faster.
Do not grow (the opposite of the previous one). Harmless, at first glance, the phrase Play, while small, then not before that will cause the child’s fear of growing up. This can also include the phrase Do not hurry to grow up. A child who has heard such phrases will subconsciously assume that he will no longer love him, it is worth growing up.
Do not think. This directive is often passed to an independent child who seeks initiative. Enough of these phrases: Do not be clever!, Do not think, but do, Do not do until you have been told. In the future, such children are afraid to do something without the approval of others.
Do not feel. Most often, people with a cold temperament accentuate their attention. Why are only the phrase: Do not cry, you’re not small or Noah, you’re a man.
Do not succeed. This is what we instill in the child, saying the phrase Do not do it, you will not succeed or you Do not know how – do not touch it.
As you can see, seemingly innocuous phrases can have a negative impact on the development of the child and his self-esteem. After all, the child’s thinking is significantly different from the thinking of an adult person, he takes everything to heart and is afraid not to meet your expectations.
Today I introduced you to only half of the parental guidelines. Wait for the continuation tomorrow!
Tell me, do you use the expressions with which I introduced you today? Do you agree with the fact that they are not the best way to influence the child?