Who among us does not remember these murderous arguments of childhood? And how many of them can be heard today at the playgrounds from moms, at home from grandmothers, and in their own heads they are constantly spinning, and often they jump off the tongue. Do they have meaning and what do they give to a child?
How do installations work?
Recently, on the site again, I regretfully watched the picture, as my mother tried to pull her son’s car from the steering wheel so that he would let the girl steer: You’re a boy! Girls have to give in! The boy is screaming in a foul language, he doesn’t care who he really is – he wants to steer now.
Or another option, when a girl is all white and in bows, neat and tidy, with a healthy children’s interest, climbs with a stick to pick it up in a puddle – mom immediately finds herself on the verge of a heart attack: Where are you going ?! You get dirty, you’re a girl! You must be careful!
I immediately remember myself in childhood, and the way I was saddened by these promises. Not so sat down, not so risen, not behaving like this, girls do not do that – God, how I hated being born a girl! I think that the boys also attended similar unpleasant thoughts.
It turns out that parents, instead of teaching a child to love and respect themselves, teach themselves to hate and be angry with others. Plus, they limit the child in knowledge of the surrounding world. After all, how does a girl find out what dirt is without getting dirty in it? How does a boy learn to communicate with children, especially with girls, if mom has already decided for him how to act?
What to do?
Despite the fact that all psychologists, all pedagogical literature repeats the same thing, parents stubbornly act on the knurled pattern. In general, I understand them – she herself is. In a state of extreme fatigue or when an urgently definite reaction is required of a child, you act reflexively, and our parents laid reflexes.
But when there is time to stop and think, you probably should listen to the advice of experts. They say that preschool children, and especially toddlers, perceive oral information in negligible percentages. What to say, if these promises are given when the child is emotionally excited, it is generally meaningless.
The only thing that is capable of raising the right behavior in the child according to the sex (naturally, correct in the understanding of the parents) is a personal example.
If the mother tortured by life once again does not comb, does not make up, does not smooth the jeans – as then the daughter will learn to look after herself. If the dad frowned and offended by the attention of his wife will only look for an excuse to insert some unpleasant comment in her address, then how can a son learn to respect his mother and even more so girls?
When our requirements are fundamentally different from what we ourselves do, the child not only copies our behavior, but also loses trust in us. Or am I not right?