Pugalki from parents. What are they for? It would seem, why ask? Always, at all times, children were brought up like this: not obeying – you need to scare by something. So we frighten evil uncles in uniform, so we come up with different Babaek and Beech, so we shift the responsibility for the behavior of the child onto the shoulders of Baba Yaga, the wolf and various monsters. You look, and will stop shkodnichat little unheard. At least for a while.
In general, I thought that the times of such methods of upbringing had already passed. But no. I can give you some pretty bright examples that are still in use in adults.
Example One: Aunt will give an injection
It would seem absurd. Why should parents scare the child with injections? After all, no one is immune from disease, and sooner or later the child will have to be treated in this way. Nevertheless, several times I saw that the mothers of the naughty children in the queue at the clinic frighten them with injections.
Recently a nurse came out of the office and loudly, on the whole corridor, said: “So, have you heard something over here! Now I will leave all the shots do! In my opinion, not clever. It seems that this aunt in a white coat, giving a shot to a child, makes fun of him, says that he is afraid of a mosquito bite. Only here mosquitoes no one scares.
Example two: Do not go there, there is a dog
For me, trying to explain to a child everything as it is, especially wildly, when grandmothers start raising children so inconsistently. Recently, the son in the village was going to go to the creek. Of course, this is dangerous. But I didn’t expect my grandmother to start scaring him that there was a dog. I must say that the son of dogs is afraid. But the stream does not have it.
When a neighbor arrived with her dog half an hour later, everyone began to persuade her son not to be afraid of her. No logic. And no one knows what’s going on in the children’s head?
Example three: Aunt will swear
It’s one thing to say this to a child knocking a stick on a shop window in a store about a seller. The other is about a passing by, unsuspecting aunt. You know, it’s rather unpleasant when an unfamiliar child looks at you with caution. So think here: either immediately calm him down and say no, no, I will not swear, or help the mother of the child and stay in his eyes as an evil aunt.
Example Four: I’m leaving now
When we start to go for a walk, we have to catch our son first, in order to put on his next clothes. Sometimes it’s impossible to catch something! I’m starting to get nervous and already want to say: I’ll leave alone now! This is also quite common reception of many parents. But in time I find the strength not to say these words. After all, my son and so badly let go of the house.
I need the opposite, so that he learns not to be afraid of being left without me.
Therefore, it is necessary to act differently. While he is sitting on the back of the sofa, I begin to dress. In the meantime I ask him if he goes for a walk with me? Son resorts to me, distracted by typewriter-bucket-sovochki. You look, and gathered.
I do not frighten my own or other people’s children, and I think that this is wrong. I will explain why.
What is bullying children?
1. This is cultivating fears. The root of many fears lies precisely in the fact that the young children were frightened by their parents / grandmothers / caregivers. Why tell the child that Baba Yaga lives there, if we do not want him to go there? Maybe just try to explain? And then we wonder: why the child is afraid, where did he get it from?
2. This is a hoax. I do not want to lie to a child. After all, once he will understand that everything that scares me is fiction. How then will he react to this? I think my son will no longer respect me and is unlikely to trust me.
3. This is a receipt of its own powerlessness.. I do not know if you thought about it. In my opinion, a mother who frightens her child (no matter what) simply cannot cope with it and follows the path of least resistance. It turns out that he is listening not because he agreed with you, but out of fear. I personally want to grow a thinking and responsible person.
One can only wonder at the fantasies of adults who come up with various horror stories, so that the children listen, eat porridge, do not spoil. Maybe I exaggerated somewhere, but I still think that we should not frighten children. They will find something to get scared without us. The world is not so simple, and there are plenty of fears for the child in it.
What do you think about this?