Every parent sooner or later faces childish lies. However, it is rather difficult to figure out where the line between children’s fantasy and really lies is.
Till 2 years old a child is not able to liel – he only knows the world and perceives everything that happens as a given. In addition, he simply has no reason to lie – all his desires are simple and are often satisfied before he realizes them.
About in 3 years the situation changes and the baby begins to try the boundaries of what is permitted. On the one hand, a lie at this age is a necessary stage of growing up; on the other hand, it is very important to explain to a child that a lie is in fact a negative phenomenon. One of the options for the allowed lies is the joint creation of fairy tales and stories. Thanks to such methods, you can direct the energy of the child to a safe channel.
Further, a lie appears in several forms:
Fantasy. This is a lie from which the child does not benefit. For example, a story about a friend who actually does not exist. Scolding and punishing a child for fantasizing is fundamentally wrong – most often it is an uncontrollable process and the child himself believes in what he says. It would be much more correct to pay attention to the son or daughter and give him more time. Fantasy is one of those very bells that tell parents about the loneliness of their offspring.
Actually Lying. It can be protective (for example, to lie about the mark for the control one) and here it is necessary to draw the child’s attention to the fact that such behavior is not acceptable in principle. One-off cases of defensive lies are normal, but if this happens systematically, you need to think about the relationship between the child and you. If the child is not afraid of you – he will not lie. If he lies … maybe it is worth thinking that the child is being raised, not trained?
Another option lies between the first two. it unknowing lie. Sometimes a child may become confused, be insufficiently informed or even misinformed.
If you have problems with children’s lies, answer yourself a few questions:
- Do you trust your child? Most often, it is the distrust of parents that pushes children to deceive.
- Do you have enough time for your son?
- How do your penalties for offenses match their severity? The child will often lie emotionally unstable, aggressive parent. The same situation will be in a family where mom / dad are unpredictable in their reaction.
- How often do you lie? If it is customary in the family to lie (for example, to say that you are busy, if you do not want to communicate with the caller), then the child will repeat your behavior. And here it is silly to blame the mirror.
In any case, one of the main steps to overcome such a complex problem as a child’s lie is trust. Trust your child, respect him and let him know about it.