Girls, do you know a situation when there is absolutely no time? I am constantly in the hassle of home: now washing, now cleaning, then cooking, ironing is endless … And I still have one year old son! But the child is not a burden for me. I was waiting for him and I love him very much. But for some reason it turns out that I don’t have time to play with him!
With my mind and heart, I understand perfectly well that a child needs a mother, her attention and care. And not cleanly washed floors or shiny windows, but you want so much cleanliness and order in the house! Neither mother-in-law, nor my mother help me. Neither financially nor physically, nor advice. My son is an extra mouth for them. They believe that we are adults, we can handle it ourselves.
Well, I already knew that I had a child for me. Not for money, not for boredom, and not just that. My husband and I have long dreamed of children, and this was mutual agreement. The baby should be born in the family where he is loved, waiting. The house, in my understanding, is a place where ringing children’s laughter sounds, where joy lives, balloons fly and small happiness lives.
The experience of others
I have seen a lot in my life. Although I am only 25 years old, but I know how it is in other families. I do not want my child to feel like no one needs. This is scary. Painfully. This overwhelming feeling from childhood passes into adulthood. Often the person inside feels like a small and helpless child, who was constantly shouted at. This leads to feelings of guilt, hopelessness and depression.
When parents shout at their children. Where are you going ?, When will you begin to obey me ?, I’ll give you a belt now! I want to stand up for this baby! So you want to explain to this parent that the child needs to be raised in love and harmony. He will find out about cruelty later. And the parent, as the person who gave life, should give the crumbs all their love and tenderness! Give a little piece of happiness, a world of tenderness and harmony.
When I studied, I worked as a nanny at home. Other people’s children loved me more than their own mother. Mom was at work. But after work, she did not hurry home, but went with men to cafes and restaurants. Her children were not interested. And what do children need? Not money, and not expensive gifts. And love and attention!
Here I sit beside my son and think. After all, in my distant childhood, I wanted so much that mom was just there … In no hurry to wash the dishes and vacuum the kitchen, but just with me. I wanted so much to play with her! I wanted to draw and sculpt together! And she was only glad that I could play by myself, that I did not disturb her. And I do not tear away from watching TV shows popular at that time.
It all starts in childhood. Even then, I wanted to tell my mother so much! To share with her the events in the kindergarten, then at school, then at the institute. I wanted to share my feelings, together to grieve and laugh. I did not have this in childhood. But I firmly decided for myself that my son will not have such a thing!
I know that in the afternoon I will deal exclusively with the child, his upbringing. You can wash dishes and clean up at night. I am ready to sacrifice a night’s sleep in order to have time to write articles. My husband and I decided that we would not buy a little son of expensive toys. They will not replace parental heat.
Good toys can be made from improvised means. And my baby, as if he understands everything, and so amuses himself with what is in the house. He likes to have fun with multicolored capron lids, builds pyramids from them, scatters toothbrushes all over the house. And I’m glad of it!
When my husband comes home from work, we sit down for dinner, and he does not cry that the house is not tidied up. I explained to him: that we will do the cleaning with him at night, when the child will sleep. And in the afternoon we play together, have fun and develop. Life goes on, children grow up, and I need to have time to give the warmth that I kept so carefully for him!
And what do you think about this? How do you pay attention to your children?