I want to share with you girls, my immediate problem – putting children to bed. Yes, yes, it is laying. Although my children are already 7 and 5, they do not fit themselves. Parental presence in the room at the time of sleep they just need.
This problem has been on our agenda in the family for a long time, but the acute attack was just the other day when I had to sit more than two hours laying one of my daughters.
Children’s trip to sleep, we have become a real ritual. When it is announced that it is time to go to bed, the babies wash themselves, change clothes, and then the younger one yells for the whole house: Does anyone sit with us? And sitting on the bed, she waits until one of the parents settles in the room. After this, the daughter lies down, covers herself and begins to fall asleep.
In fact, she is not sleeping, but she is guarding so that her father or mother will not leave the room before she falls asleep.
For half an hour, an hour and even two, the daughter flies between sleep and reality. By wheezing, rustling, breathing, I hear that the child is asleep. But suddenly she is undermined on the bed and asks with a voice of anxiety: Mom, have you left? After my answer, she again fits, and again vigor and sleep are fighting in her.
Recently, the situation has worsened. Now she not only makes sure that I do not leave the room, but also so that I do not fall asleep on the sofa in the nursery before she. Naturally, what kind of dream is there if the child has to pull the mom out every 5 minutes?
The husband noticed that his daughter sleeps more calmly with him. He reads the news in the smartphone while laying down, and we assumed that Sanya, seeing a dim light, understands that his father is not sleeping.
I turn off all the equipment while laying and try to use this time for my own rest, really dozing on the couch.
The question is, what is the reason for this strange behavior of the child? Whether she is afraid to be alone, awake, in the room. Does she really have a pathological certainty that the mother should always be alert when the child is awake?
My husband once tried a new practice of laying: he told her that no one would come, opened the door wide open and left her to sleep. It turned out differently: then she went out into the corridor and stood until she was noticed. That cried the whole room. And only a couple of times still fell asleep itself.
We are at a loss what to do? In our understanding, the child is already four years old, and even earlier he should fall asleep independently. And there are two girls in the room; the younger one is not sleeping alone. But at almost six years of age, requiring parental presence is somehow quite strange.
In addition, it seems to us that if we continue to sit in the nursery, then some kind of fetish will overcome the daughter. I do not like how all this reflects on her psyche.
There is another problem. In the evening and at night, we adults have only a couple of hours of free time. I want to spend them with benefit. And because of this tedious laying, my husband and I don’t even have time to talk.
As a result, we came to the conclusion that we must be firm in our decision. Now we are daily convincing our daughter that she is already adult and should fall asleep on her own. We try not to react to the tantrums being rolled up and we hope that this will help.
How did you teach children to fall asleep on their own?