Throughout his life, a person overcomes various crises. Some of them have long been studied, and we have a great opportunity to go through them with minimal losses. One of the so-called age crises – a crisis of 3 years or myself.
The crisis of 3 years – the third periodization LS Vygotsky. It is a turning point between a child who can not do anything, and a preschooler, already almost independent. It is at this moment that the child tries to determine the limits of his skills, tries to do everything without any help. This is a very difficult time for parents: washed dishes, smeared mud and puddles on the floor, watch dressing, jealousy, indefatigable imagination and a lot of hysteria. Yes, this is a very difficult time for dads and moms. However, it is no less difficult for a child.
The 3 year crisis has several features:
–he is negative. Everyone has heard about the adolescent crisis, and so 3 years is the same, except that the child still cannot slam the door or defiantly smoke. However, he nevertheless needs some time to defend his opinion and they call a teddy bear a dog, dissolve oatmeal cookies in a saucer of milk and start to lap up in front of his bewildered relatives.
No, the child is not trying to ruffle or annoy you. The kid breaks the stereotypes of communication, building new ones. And when something breaks, it is always painful and unpleasant. But, you see, you gave birth to a child, and not bought a doll, and you knew what you were going for.
– baby stubbornness rolls over at the maximum. I will not collect toys, I will not eat it, red – pointing to blue.
No, you are not trying to bring to the white heat. Everything is much simpler – the child is trying to convey to you a simple truth – he has his own opinion. And, if he does not have an alternative alternative to yours, he will simply deny. Not this way. – But as? – Not this way!
Vallon 3 years – opposition period. And if most of these situations can be experienced, then sometimes stubbornness becomes a problem. For example – in matters of security. Here the main thing is to give the child to stuff his bumps where there is no threat to life – swing on a chair and fall, prick with a needle, touch a hot pan. Then he will not have a desire to challenge your authority on the street in the middle of a pedestrian crossing. However, it is necessary to carry out such experiments very carefully: to touch the hot pan is one thing, to turn the boiling pot over itself is another thing.
In addition, during this period the child perceives the world around him as a continuation of himself for himself, the world exists for him as something that satisfies his needs and desires, he is not yet capable of looking at the world in a different way.
In addition, 3 years – the transition between the anal stage of child development and phallic. It is by this time that the child acquires toilet skills and learns to control the act of defecation. Thus, such properties as accuracy, punctuality, and tidiness are laid.
In the same time interest in genitals and differences between boys and girls. Parents should prepare for a serious conversation on sensitive topics. Naturally, taking into account the age of the child. Children begin to respond sexually to adults, and first of all these are parents. A parent of his own sex begins to be perceived as a rival, which leads to conflicts. To dismiss this feature of age means to give rise to an inferiority complex, therefore one must behave very carefully. At the same time, excessive attention to this issue may cause unhealthy interest.
According to the theory of J.Piaget, figurative and symbolic thinking begins to develop, allowing the child to give names and characteristics to fictional objects. For example, in single-parent families it was during this period that the child creates the second parent’s mental image (or both, if the baby is an orphan), endowing him with the qualities of familiar people or made-up.
Create daily routine. At this age, the child needs consistency and stability.
Deal with the system of punishments and rewards. If educational scandals are still preserved in your family (mother forbade, father allowed, grandmother was sorry) – they must be eliminated. For the same thing, everyone should punish equally. Moreover: today, tomorrow and a week later the punishment for a wrongdoing should be the same, so it is worth reviewing the structure of punishments. It is quite possible to pay for the broken cup by collecting fragments, but for the hands stretched to the outlet the punishment must be severe. Learn to cheat. To force a child to do something at this age is only to aggravate the crisis. Make it possible. But this way you break it a little, undermine his self-confidence. 3 years is the time for parental tricks (but not lies!).
Cooperate. Performing as a child a job that is feasible for him, you deprive him of the joy of victory. Remember this when you once again move him away from the sink with dirty dishes. As a last resort – give him another task. For example, pick peas from beans: the development of fine motor skills as a bonus to half an hour of silence.
Learn to formulate a thought. At the age of 3, the child is not yet able to understand the long, phased explanations. Parental brevity – the sister of not only talent, but also family happiness.
In any case, it is necessary to remember that baby is not a reduced copy of an adult, not yet possessing the necessary knowledge and skills, but in fact qualitatively different being, with other laws of the psyche and perception.