There are enough people in my social circle with children. Few of the children of the parents or friends did not say that he is lagging behind other children. Someone cannot pronounce the letter P at 6.5 years old, two boys at 3.5-4.5 years old do not speak more than 3 words, my daughter didn’t go a year, and at 2 she doesn’t roll herself off the slide.
In each case, as I believe, you need to understand the reasons for this lag. Depending on them and respond to one or another of their concerns about the skills of the child. If you don’t understand the true motives of the exciting behavior of your family or the inability of the child, you can harm your child with your efforts.
Sometimes the prerequisites for the development of a child’s backwardness are laid even at the stage of the mother’s pregnancy: underdevelopment or damage to the brain, central nervous system during this period, at the time of delivery or after birth.
This is possible because of long-term toxicosis, bad habits, taking contraindicated drugs by mum, her infectious or chronic diseases suffered during pregnancy. Injuries during childbirth,
Diseases of a child under 2 years of age may be the cause for undue development.
Also for the natural development of the child are important factors such as a calm psychological situation in the family, timely satisfaction of the child’s needs, unconditional acceptance of the child as he is, a sense of security of his stay somewhere, and so on.
Most mothers may argue that her half of the list above was available, but the child is quite normal. Then you either do not consider it as problems, or have not yet seen them, or do not want to see them, or you are lucky.
What is considered a problem?
Usually, parents or grandparents consider it wrong that, in their view, is not going the way they would like. And then they begin to worry and look for methods of elimination in the development of the child.
My daughter did not go up to 1.2 years, physically healthy. My mother said that my daughter is lagging behind her peers. I, with a weak back, because I was taught to walk by the arms, so that in nurseries it was more convenient for educators to have, had a different opinion. And my daughter crawled on walks up to 1.2 years, and sometimes even after this age.
If I had planned my daughter to drive into the nursery from the age of 1, then her inability to walk would be a problem for me. But I was not going to give my daughter to the nursery and therefore did not consider that my daughter had a developmental lag. After 2 months, the grandmother’s problem about the erecting of the daughter resolved.
At 2 years old, my daughter was still riding on a hill only with me. She did not communicate with adults, being afraid of them, and did not approach the children at the sites. For the grandmother of the daughter and my friends, there is again a problem – the child is not socialized: It is necessary to communicate. And it was anxiety.
But I did not plan to drive my daughter to the garden, so there was no problem for me. I did not consider it necessary to adjust and put pressure on my daughter with my training, I thought that if I didn’t do it, I wasn’t ready yet. I prefer to give grow daughters in a natural way.
Examples of when children are out of step with their peers.
Next, give an example of another baby. He is 4.5 years old, physically quite healthy and very developed. But he spoke a maximum of 3 clear words, the rest was silence or a loud cry. At 2 years old, he himself had already played a simple game on a computer, his grandfather thought that he was growing up as a child prodigy.
When the child turned 3 years old, the family lost her dad. Mom is depressed, grief overtook the house. The tragedy could not but reflect on the boy, the attention of the mother was a little. Mom was not very talkative anyway, and even more so after the death of her husband. The very mother of her child understood perfectly and without words.
Then the mother of the baby, having recovered a little from grief, took up his work: she tries to read books to the restless son, communicates with him, meets with other mothers and their talking children. The child now speaks quite understandable words, has become increasingly sociable, progress is very noticeable.
Another son of my girlfriend in 3.5 years, too, almost did not speak. A friend has long dreamed of going to work in order to feel realized. And, as soon as I managed to do it, I began to drive the kid to the kindergarten.
They had constant tantrums at home about her boyfriend’s misunderstanding. Of course, there were no fewer tantrums in the garden. The speech therapist refused to engage with the child until the age of 4, justifying it by the fact that until that age, the child still physically could have a speech apparatus.
But the neuropathologist, to whom my girlfriend of her child has withdrawn, took him for a consultation and prescribed many medications to improve the blood supply to the brain. By the age of 4.5, mother began to understand her son better as he began to talk. Friend satisfied.
However, personally, I am not sure that her son wouldn’t say the same way, if he didn’t take all these pills, mixtures and injections.
A girl of 6.5 years old, who was preparing for school, did not know how to write and pronounce the letter P in words. Parents considered this inconvenient for school. And they began to act. For half a year, the letter P was set by different speech therapists so that the girl growled this letter in words better than the Amur tiger.
I had to work with the letter myself. It was not given to the girl in any way, they were engaged according to the recipes, and it was boring for the child and did not take her attention at all. Every morning she had to write 2 pages of writing. Then they began to write in notebooks, the letters came out curves, changed places.
Labor and then, at the cost of the relationship between mother and daughter to school, she wrote well. In the class, only 4 children knew how to write, the rest were taught practically from scratch. Mom regrets that time, and most importantly, her nerve cells and daughters, that she was in such a hurry to teach her the skill, considering it to be retarded in development.
Options for solutions in the backlog of children
If the heir or heiress is physically healthy, then, in my opinion, depending on the will and patience of the parents, he can be helped to develop in the areas of life that concern the parents:
- 1. To solve the problem yourself and unobtrusively, in the form of a game, set an example, show how to do it. Children who have a good affection for their parents tend to imitate them, and soon you will be happy together with the success of your offspring.
- 2. To entrust your child to specialists who will work in the direction you specified. With this I consider it important to note that the choice of specialists and their method is a separate topic worthy of conversation, for everything should be for the good of the child. Therefore, it is worthwhile to approach this thoroughly, considering the possible harm from some methods, such as medical interventions and drugs.
In both cases, you should not expect instant success, you should not drive horses, as happened in the case of a girl of 6.5 years in the example above. Pressure stress can also inhibit development. It will take quite a long time until your child catches up with other children.
If the diagnosis is for life
Autism is different psychological characteristics of the child. It can be considered a disease, but a child can be considered just different and not compared with the rest of the children.
Appreciate his personality, take into account personal characteristics and participate in life with his child, helping him to adapt to this world. You are his guide, reliable protection and support. I strongly advise you to watch the movie Stars on Earth, he really got into my soul on this topic.
If physically the child is not very healthy, then, most likely, this will also affect his psychological development. There are examples of children suffering from cerebral palsy, often caused by non-physiological labor.
And even in this case, you can help the child, not much resorting to medical drugs. There are osteopaths, the reliability and performance of which methods I tried on myself and my daughter. In the case of cerebral palsy, they also bring tangible results, judging by the reviews of people who visited osteopaths.
One of my friends works in a rehabilitation center that deals with the diagnosis, prevention, rehabilitation and treatment of children with disabilities in the neuropsychiatric, motor sphere, and this includes the treatment of children with cerebral palsy and PCV.
When working, she is in close contact with children, teaching them the necessary skills. She is particularly pleased with the positive changes in children. They occur in all, even the most difficult. For such children, every little thing is essential: it became better to hold the head, the support on the handles improved, it became more emotional.
What is natural for us is incredibly difficult for them. And parents are different: those who do not succeed or who doubt. As my friend said, I want my parents to be co-therapists, rather than fill them with skepticism. Because work with parents for them almost in the first place.