We live in society and must follow the rules that are accepted in society. How does this apply to children? Everything is very simple: we, from childhood, are taught to abide by the rules or allow us to break them. A child should be taught to abide by the rules because it is necessary to instill in him a sense of the boundaries of these rules, and accordingly, the consequences of what happens if he breaks these rules. At the same time, the child must be taught the rules in such a way as not to harm his vulnerable child’s psyche and not make him hostage hundreds of thousands of rules.
Rules psychologists are often called the muscular skeleton of human relationships (rules of conduct, rules of the road, rules of the game, safety rules, rules of writing, etc.). Complying with the rules is not a permanent bans and reproaches. We very often follow the rules spontaneously, on the machine. A child who is gradually introduced the rules, in accordance with age, will then be easier (in adult life) to live in a society where a large number of very different rules govern. The child will be able to more easily understand the correct rules and false, will be able to make the right choice, based on the situation. Already in kindergarten and playing on the playground with other children, he will have to follow some rules. Among them:
– if children play a game, then everyone must follow the rules of the game;
– if the child decided to play someone else’s toy, he needs to give his own in return;
– if you need to clean the room, then you need to clean so that it is clean, etc.
To make it easier for the child to begin to learn and abide by the rules, you need to begin to vaccinate them from early childhood. Psychologists have noticed that children who live according to the regime, more easily perceive the rules. The daily routine is the observance of the first elementary rules, this is the beginning from which one can begin acquaintance with the rules.
I created some kind of regime for my girls. At the same time they go to bed every day, have lunch, sleep during the day, the evening before going to bed the eldest cleans the toys. Why am I saying that this mode is somewhat similar to the normal mode? Because I can not wake them in the morning, they wake up when they want, and based on this. We also have breakfast at the same time. This is probably until I go to work and then again there will be a full-fledged regime, which will be added by the kindergarten regime. This is all compliance with the first rules.
An example to follow
Children are very important example of parents. Wash hands before eating, after coming from the street, giving thanks for dinner or lunch, wishing good night to each other, wishing good health, if someone chhhnul, etc. – these are the rules that the child adopts, after repeated repetition in everyday life.
From the age of two, children start playing with their peers. Very soon, you can see how they develop their own rules of the game or introduce and are ready and familiar. Some kids teach smaller ones, explain what can be done in the game, and what is forbidden. My eldest daughter was very surprised when in kindergarten the boys began to explain to her that playing soccer, the ball should not be touched (except for the goalkeeper). Thanks to this occasion, my girl now knows the first and basic football rules of the game. And how many different games there are, how many rules.
The rule is nothing but the right action, the right choice. Analyzing the tales, I explain to my daughters what is good and what is bad. What turned out to be good can be taken as a rule, which at a certain point can be used, and what turned out to be bad is a feature beyond which the violation of the rules and their consequences begin. Analyzing fairy-tale heroes is not the main way to show the child the rules in action, you can invent your own fairy tale, your heroes, your own rules.
Formulate the rules need to gently but surely. Softly and lovingly, because the phrases Fast! Immediately !, Running, I said! will not give any result other than protest. Surely, because the child must feel that the rule is not amenable to change, and if you have forbidden to play with the handles of a gas stove today, this rule should apply today, tomorrow and always. It is better for the child to explain why this rule has arisen, what can happen if he breaks them.
If a child lives, observing many rules, without having the right to choose, then it is impossible in such conditions to grow up an independently thinking and incoming child. My daughters have the choice that I give them. When I go to cook, I ask what they would like to eat borscht or soup. Based on their choice, I prepare for them what they chose. When they need to get dressed, they can choose the clothes that they would like to wear today.
The rules will help to grow a person out of a child who can fit into the framework of social rules, and the choice will bring up independence in the child, so that an adult can not only obey the rules, but also form their own rules in their own game called life.