I could not even think that the arrival of the pope once a week to visit her daughter could turn out to be such a hell. And it’s not about my attitude to dad or vice versa. The problem is that the child simply breaks off the roof on this basis, and it becomes impossible to regulate this desperate behavior.
Passion for my father’s communication
Just yesterday, I almost went crazy with this light show. Usually dad comes on the weekend when I am not working, because my attention is not sprayed, and it is easier for me to control the situation. But when he has a busy weekend, he tries to compensate for communication on a weekday, like yesterday.
In the morning we didn’t go to kindergarten, the child slept, I hoped that this would be a good help to calm behavior. No matter how wrong! Our dad is soft-tempered, so the daughter pushes them as he wants: now we are playing hide-and-seek, now we will fight and no matter what tea you drink. And in general, stop talking, I want to say something!
In communicating with myself, I stop such behavior and try to explain that by interrupting and shouting we can’t agree on anything. But I can’t speak for dad, especially since he will immediately act differently.
And her daughter sets in motion all the manipulations available to her in order to fully capture Dad’s attention. Specially doing what I do not allow. For example, worn out and walks around the apartment in a jacket, lying on the floor in it. All my requests to change clothes are ignored.
Yesterday, while going through the process of dressing up, she started so much screaming! She cried for half an hour without ceasing, and the reason for tears changed every 2-3 minutes. When dad started to dance around her, she let him go. And I had just lost the anesthesia after visiting the dentist’s, and the sealed canals began to nasty whine. Even urgent work had to be done.
Next we were waiting for the main part of Marlezonsky ballet – lunch. For two hours my daughter was picking on a plate, scattering porridge on the table: I don’t want rice, I don’t like meat for meat, and I don’t like cabbage at all, there’s something red in it. This is despite the fact that with me all this was eaten, even with persuasion, but without nerves.
Here I have already failed. She simply took her plate and threw all the contents into the trash bin, promising that today she would receive nothing more, since she did not want to eat. And if he wants, let him eat from the trash can and eat. Promise fulfilled, gave only drink.
And what about dad?
At first, he was still trying to somehow agree with her. A couple of times he did it, but for more it was not enough. He began to tell me when I tried to sensitize my daughter in a strict tone. But all the same it affects the child somehow weakly.
Thank you dad for stopping accusing me of wrongly raising my daughter. When he left a year ago, I was all on my nerves, I often broke off on my daughter quite often, as I did not try to hold back. And in response, she heard the crushing: You have no love for the child!
In response, I wanted to say a lot and do something, but I limited myself to offering to take her in and educate myself. I do not know how to educate, I know how to train, answered a knowledgeable dad. I don’t know if he has now changed his opinion regarding my pedagogical talents, but at least he doesn’t tell me anything. And thanks for that.
And once again about the main actress of the theater
As soon as the father left, the child became simply silk. She calmly took out her toys and began to organize a picnic, treating everyone and me as well. Then, at the first request, I collected them and bought them with pleasure. Calmly looked cartoons and quickly fell asleep. Moor did his job …
On the one hand, I perfectly understand the feelings of the child. Well, at least it seems to me that I understand her. But on the other hand, this behavior is simply unbearable. I cannot forbid my father to visit his daughter – this is necessary first of all for the child, at least at this stage. But joint communication is more like a branch of the underworld.
Did anyone have such problems? Who came out of this situation?