Raising children is a difficult and painstaking work from day to day. And so nice to hear from her son the words: Mom, I love you.
But how to be in a situation when your child speaks completely different things: I do not love you or I prefer to live with my grandmother? How to react to his words and why does the child say so? Today I want to reflect a little on this topic.
My son has been attached to me for quite a long time. Before he went to kindergarten, he never stayed overnight with his grandmother and grandfather. And the maximum time that could have been there – about 2 hours. But now the baby gladly runs to the grandmother to visit and sometimes even forgets to kiss me. I am just glad that this is how their relationship develops.
But I notice that when he comes from the guests, he behaves completely unbearable. He does not listen and does not hear me, makes some sharp attacks in my direction. To my remarks, he says that he likes being with his grandmother, and he wants to live with her. With these words, I get very sad. The first thoughts that visit me I love him and do everything for him, and he says so.
But on the other hand, I understand perfectly well that grandmothers indulge and allow much of what is not allowed at home. They are trying to treat them with something delicious, buy toys that their beloved grandson will request, and also allow them to watch many, many cartoons.
So, describing this case, I have a question, how to be in such a situation?
1) No need to be offended, calm down you and the child. After a while, everything will work out.
2) Explain to the child that being offended at something, you need to say completely different words. I was upset or I was offended. Tell him that his words hurt you.
3) Tell us how dangerous or untimely his demands are. Say that you love him, and in return you will receive the same words.
Why does the child say hurtful words
1) Because they did not do what he wanted or did not fulfill his desire momentarily.
2) Punished the child or promised to punish for something.
3) This may be a reaction to the cruel line of behavior of the mother or father, even if it is one-time or to the injustice of the child in a particular situation.
4) Can repeat the words that are often heard from parents. Suppose parents swear, but he just remembers the words.
5) If the child is offended at the mother, then she tries to annoy her or childish revenge, saying such phrases as a joke. If you saw before that they had their effect.
When your little child says these words Mom, you’re bad, in most cases he doesn’t think so. Rather thinks, but precisely at this moment. This is his reaction to a selected toy or a ban to climb on his stomach throughout the summer playground. This is the same offense as adults. But we can control ourselves, swallow grievances, and in children all feelings and emotions spill out.
How not to respond to bad words?
1) Do not say in response. Do not scream or scold the child, try to explain to him how his words hurt you.
2) Do not hit him. Sometimes I really want to give lips for such words, but this can only cause fear and once again convince the child of the correctness of his statement.
3) Skip past the ears. Do not try to seem indifferent, because the child will not understand that he is doing something wrong.
4) Do not give in. In his own words, the child is trying to manipulate you. And if you allow him to do what was previously forbidden, then this will strengthen his faith in the effectiveness of his words.
I heard bad words from a child a couple of times. But every time she tried to explain to him that it hurt me to hear it. Now being offended at me, he often calls his father or grandmother and tells him what I did wrong or what he was wrong about.