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Popular or outcast preschoolers

Many of my friends had older children, so I saw the picture of popularity or unpopularity among peers earlier. Children who are sociable and fun at home behave very differently in the garden. Some come with bruises and scratches, while others during team games sit according to the educator in the corner and play alone.

I, like every mother, worried, giving her son to kindergarten. After all, you do not know how he will develop relationships with other children in the group. Initially, he was a very friendly child, but many could have taken away a toy from him or hit him just for what he never gave up. That was the scarecrow, I was very worried that someone would hurt him. And how he will get along or not get along with the children depends on his fate in the future.

Like – don’t like

After six months of communication, children can be seen, to whom the kids are drawn, and whom they are avoiding. But it cannot be said that a popular child has leadership qualities. By no means. A leader is a person who can solve one common task, but does not mean at all that he wants to talk heart to heart.

I myself notice who communicates with whom and how in the garden. But in order to make sure that I was right, it was enough for me to ask my son. Who are you friends with and who don’t you like? Who do you want to invite to the birthday, and who does not? Why is that?

Each child will definitely call you 2-3 friends and a few people who he doesn’t like at all. If you interview at least half of the group, you can find out how children communicate with each other, who are particularly popular with them.

If you ask the tutors, the answer will be completely different. After all, they evaluate children by their behavior, by their mental qualities and by the way they were brought up. And from my own experience, I know that those children who will be called caregivers will be mostly outcasts among their peers.

Why is that?

At school I wondered why some children are loved and accepted into the company, while others are avoided? I had no problems with communication, I was accepted into the company, but at the same time I tried not to scoff at other children, I felt sorry for them.

I traveled to school by bus from across the city. There were many children in the class who needed to travel the same distance. Therefore, we often traveled in the same transport and talked. So the girls, who did not accept the class, turned out to be absolutely normal in communication. So why did they become outcasts and poke fun at them?

I like and liked to observe the behavior of other people and draw conclusions later. As a result of my observations, this is what I came to:

1) Most often they do not like people (in particular children) who are closed in themselves and do not take part in anything. And also those who love to be ahead of the rest, i.e. get into the conversation, be first everywhere and still impose their point of view on others.

2) Responsiveness, approval and support of others. These are the qualities of the people for whom others were ready.

3) Popular children did not remain indifferent to someone else’s problem, they are ready to help. They were really glad if the other person did something and was sorry, if not.

4) The ability to share and solve problems calmly is one of the features of popular children. Not necessarily, to defend their position to climb with their fists and be aggressive, you can solve everything peacefully.

Today I have listed not all the psychological qualities of popular children. These are the main ones. I came to these conclusions, watching people and reading various books. Such children are kind, sympathetic, they do not make joy out of the mistake of another person.

My son is still too young to talk about his popularity in the group. But I notice that he quite easily finds a common language with others, approaches everyone with a smile. Looking at the children, I see that already at the age of three many of them approach an absolutely unfamiliar child with aggression, and this is not very good. And the son learns this. The main thing is not to miss the moment, to explain what is good and what is bad.

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