One of the erased phrases in the field of psychology – we all come from childhood. Remembering all the precepts of the specialists of the human soul on various topics, I try not to deny the child small petitions. Especially since I really lacked this in childhood. But recently, after talking with my mother, I learned that I was also sometimes indulged.
Often our walks with our daughter are accompanied by spontaneous shopping and pampering with sweets. Once we walked around the supermarket, my daughter saw an area with tables and a glass case with cakes. Mom, are we ever going to drink tea there?
I understand that a child’s holiday is not every day, but just at this age it is very important to get more impressions and realized desires. Therefore, we had to agree to gatherings with cake and tea, although for this money you could buy a kilogram of meat.
Or walking in the park, the child suddenly wanted to go to the next cafe, where we once went to eat sweet pancakes. Again, cheaper, of course, eat at home. But the child will have more impressions and joy from the cafe.
In general, I reassured myself that in this way I form a positive feeling in my daughter – desires still tend to be fulfilled. Moreover, she asks about it not often. But in my childhood this was not. So the installation was formed, that my desires are never realized.
The other day, I shared our petty weaknesses with my mother, and in response I heard: Yes, remember, we also went to a nearby shop after school and bought cakes home.
Here at least kill – I do not remember! I only remember how I, at this store, for every visit, bought a glass of tomato juice, from which I had terrible heartburn. About cakes I do not remember anything at all.
I was a little shocked. It turns out that pleasant, good memories do not linger in us for a long time, do we remember only the bad? I’ve cut a pretty penny from the budget, refuse myself something to buy a child a sweetness, a toy, to reduce it somewhere, but she will not remember it. So why these victims?
But then I thought. After all, I indulge myself too, sometimes I buy sweets or spontaneously go somewhere. And I don’t always remember what kind of sweets they were, what exactly I liked in the place I looked in. But at the same time I do not have the feeling that something was forbidden to me, that I had done something unfinished, and did not get enough.
And there is a feeling of fullness of life. It can be seen, the bad is always remembered in detail, because it is easier to remember. A good creates a common emotional background. And it is much more important than detailed memories of where, when and what you managed to get from life. What do you think?