I will not discover America if I say that the measure should be observed in everything. Even in such a seemingly innocuous action as parental ward, one should not go too far.
One of my friends, Tanya, first became a mother after thirty years. This act was deliberate, carefully weighed and planned in advance. By this time, she was already quite firmly on her feet in terms of career, material status and housing conditions.
Maternity changed her beyond recognition – it swallowed her whole without a trace. And if the first few months of life around-the-clock desire to be with a child is normal, then after a few years, the reluctance to see someone other than your child seems to me to be something not quite right.
The son is with her always and everywhere, he does not go to kindergarten (I can’t live without him, and they will be able to offend him or feed him something tasteless.), Even in developmental activities she does not leave him (this is only an hour), but is nearby. Once we were at the children’s birthday, so Tanya, even in the game maze, did not leave her three-year-old child (what if he was scared or was he being pushed?).
We walked with our children on the playground several times and I noticed that unlike my daughter, who after three years already actively communicated with her peers, Tanya’s son prefers to play with her mother.
If parents can refuse to visit the kindergarten, then the situation with the school is different (except for arranging visits of private teachers). It seems to me that the purpose of the kindergarten is not only to organize leisure activities so that mother can work. In it, children receive the first skills of socialization, communication in a team of peers, learn to be friends with their own kind.
By the first class, children are already quite clearly aware of their place in the team, they are relatively easy to make contact and do not so hard endure the absence of parents. However, if the kindergarten stage is missed, mastering these abilities is more difficult and late.
The constant presence of a mother nearby may lead to the development of childish egoism. After all, from the big love mother often seeks to do all the difficult and not very work for the baby – from cleaning toys to dressing.
Such actions are fraught with the child’s confidence that you shouldn’t strain yourself, anyway, someone will do it for him. Also such mom’s behavior can instill in the child both self-doubt and, as a result, self-doubt.
I believe that sissies are the result of excessive parental care. Mom for such men is endowed with supernormal abilities, she can do anything, and she does it all a million times better than others. But such a quality as independence is especially important for men.
There is such a thing as the empty nest syndrome – this is a devastated condition of the mother, whose child, it would seem, was only an integral part of it yesterday, and started his other life today (he went to school, started a family, began to live separately, etc. .).
I have several acquaintances who sincerely gave themselves all to the children, sometimes forgetting not only about themselves, but also about their husband. And when the child began to take care of such a concern, and he began his separate life, the mother turned out to be, as they say, at the broken trough – without a husband, work, and in a very unclean condition.
Of course, you need to take care of children and take care of them, but this should be done without fanaticism. Let the baby have his own personal space, as, indeed, you have. For some, this is separate from the child’s rest, but for someone it’s a few hours to visit a hairdresser’s or an exhibition.
Every child goes through broken knees, eating sand and fighting with friends. Let’s give your child freedom of action, do not steadily accompany the child during a walk (talking about children over three years old) in order to pull down the slides, find wet sand for kulichikov or get water from a puddle.
Yes, it is necessary to control the walk, but it is better to be just an observer at a distance of several steps, and not to pry into each episode with a proposal to help.
Those who notice for themselves signs of parental hyper-care should understand that the absence of a 24-hour stay with a child in order to maximally facilitate its existence does not at all mean that the baby suffers from the absence of your love.
The goal of parents is to direct, educate, teach, and not to assume the duties of a child.