I was in seventh heaven when I found out that I was pregnant. Therefore, with the advent of the baby, I was ready for the fact that my life will change completely. I could do a lot, if only my little one was good.
Understanding yourself and the child
But the most important thing in communicating with the baby is the ability to understand him. Why does he do this or that in this or that situation, and in a similar situation, in a completely different way.
There are certain principles, how you need to communicate with the baby. But in order to use them, you need to know better than yourself, and not just the baby. In order for you to become your best friend for your son or daughter, you need to understand him and communicate with him on an equal footing.
Such complex, but mandatory principles of interaction with the child.
Now our family has developed certain principles.
one) Minimum prohibitions
At some time I realized that we completely stopped listening and hearing each other with my son. I was sometimes very irritable and angry at him, and the number of my inhibitions was too great. I had the words can not and need to do more often than others. I decided, STOP! You need to do something with this, you first need to educate yourself and work on yourself, and then teach something to the child.
I realized that you can achieve everything that is needed without shouting and harsh words. We had in the morning such a problem as brushing your teeth. I said that it was necessary, and no refusals were accepted. As a result, there were tears and snot, and then forced cleaning of teeth.
Now I bought a book in which microbes were painted in my mouth and a poem about brushing my teeth. Now, without any problems, we carry out this procedure in the morning and in the evening with the words that he will have the strongest teeth without caries.
And I also wanted to mention the word “No”. Dear mothers, do not tell him too often to the child. At some point, he already ceases to hear him, I felt it on myself.
I could not spit, scream in the store, throw sand from the sandbox, wash my hands in cold water, chop bread on the carpet, run, because you can fall, etc. As a result, due to an excessive number of restrictions, my child ran out on the road. Suppose it was not the main highway, and the road in the yard, but quite busy. It turns out that my son simply did not react to my next one in a dangerous situation.
Now I say that it is possible to throw sand out of the sandbox, only this summer it will not be brought here and you will have nothing to play with, you can wash your hands in cold water, but there is an option that you will catch a cold and have to drink your unloved tablets, etc. .
2) Talk about your feelings
You tell about your feelings and emotions, do not hide that it is unpleasant for you, that you are offended or feel bad. A child should know this. Therefore, as soon as you show by your own example that it is good to be open and hide nothing.
I always made a remark to my grandmother or mother when they tried to distract the child from tears. Here Vanya rushes through the corridor and does not fit into the turn, hits the door. Grandmothers begin to lament and scold the door, saying that it will be punished. What for? To reassure the child, so that he quickly stopped crying.
As a result, over time, he will understand that it is bad to cry, that you have to endure, and even worse to look for the culprit in your own stupidity. But it is not better to let him cry, regret and say that you understand that he is in pain, and you need to be a little tighter next time. It seems to me that this is correct.
3) Men cry too
A very common misconception: girls cry, and boys in no case. When Vanya went to the garden, he cried for the first 2 weeks. At first I tried to distract him, quietly leave, but then I stood behind the door and realized that he was crying not because he was in the garden, but because my mommy had left.
Then I just explained to him that my mother was leaving and would definitely come after him. If he wants, then let him cry, there is nothing to be ashamed of. But it is better if he spends this time playing with other children. And over time, everything returned to normal.
four) The trust
The child should know that you trust him, that he can do something himself, even in 3-4 years.
– no need to lisp
– why not answer questions immediately, ask him how he himself
– let me choose for myself, but do not decide for him, let him choose what he will do, not you
This is the best that a mother can do for herself, her husband and for the child. This is a very important moment in the family. Of all the above principles, this one is the most difficult for me. I work on myself, I try to control my emotions, it turns out, but sometimes I still fail.
It seems to me that when we began to act according to the rules and live with these principles with my husband, my child became more obedient, began to adequately respond to my words, and I became more calm and tolerant.