I began to think about the development of my daughter’s independence when I noticed how she avoided problems. Everything that is easy for her, is easy and is done, but if only you need to strain yourself a little, tears and screams appear. I cannot do it! Help me! And often she didn’t even begin to try to do something, but the cry has already raised.
And it seemed to be raising her without any particular restrictions – she allowed her to crawl, take, touch everything she wanted, if it was not dangerous. But still, there was a failure somewhere. Perhaps it’s all about the peculiarities of the child’s psyche, or maybe she’s just imbued with my self-doubt.
But the child cannot wait for the mother to make friends with her cockroaches in her head, so I started looking for ways to correct it right now. And here I have come to what set of methods by practical consideration.
one. Logical reasoning. This is probably the most ineffective way for a 4.5-year-old child, but in my opinion, it is time to gradually introduce it. When we start lamenting and tears about me does not work, I try to find out, but when you cry, does it work? Maybe then we should try to do something else, and not cry?
2 Gingerbread Method. For any achievement – praise in all sorts of variations. And not just well done! But I try to repeat what kind of problem she was facing and what a good thing she was, that she had found her solution, but what an original one, etc. Here, it still seems to me extremely important not to make gender distinctions in praise.
That is, do not praise the girls solely for their accuracy, and the boys for the manifestation of power. You need to praise everyone for everything. After all, the boy is good when he grows neat, and the girl must form the desire to be strong, dexterous and healthy for the future.
3 Do not rush to help on the first cry. It often happens here that a cry of insolvency rises, and after 30 seconds everything suddenly turns out without my mother’s help. Therefore, I don’t hurry to help, but when I’m already approached, I begin by asking me to show how she’s not working.
Sometimes, after such a request, everything starts to turn out, and sometimes I suggest how to make it happen. But in fact I’ll help in the last resort, or when it’s clearly visible that I can’t cope without help. But in this case we try to solve the problem together.
four. Set a time limit. For example, we sometimes have a lot of time to dress up. If we don’t hurry anywhere, it is still possible to suffer, but if we have to go out at a certain time, then we begin to get together much earlier than the unlabeled period. Then the child has time to put tights back on, to dress them correctly and count the crows along the way.
And how do you solve the problem of self-education?