In fact, I wanted to call this topic the Dumpster as a motivator, but somehow this name sounds completely unaesthetic, although it conveys the essence as accurately as possible. It was the trash bin that turned out to be the undeniable argument that convinced the child not to refuse food. But this problem did not dare.
I read the essence of the idea in a book of a child psychologist, where she talks about various cases from practice. In one of them, the situation was described with a boy who was brought to her on the verge of exhaustion — he practically did not eat anything. But according to medical reports, he had everything in order, not counting this progressive exhaustion.
Everyone in the family was spinning around him. Even a grandfather, a respectable professor, could quit reading a lecture at the university and rush home only because the grandson agreed to eat the burgers in his presence.
I don’t remember all the scientific explanations of the psychologist’s decision, but the practical advice was to demonstratively throw all the food offered, which the child refused, into the trash can. Many in that family could not look at it. The child stayed the longest, but as a result, he began to eat and get better.
I liked the idea, because before that there was only one piece of advice in service – not to force the child to eat until he himself agrees or asks. This advice seemed untenable to me, since, in my opinion, the child is not always able to adequately assess his or her desires and certainly not understand them.
Confidence in this gave another example of one mother on some forum. She told how, following this principle, the child did not eat anything for two days, only drank a couple of cups of compotida. And on the third day in the morning I fell out of bed – I had no strength to get up.
In general, I also cannot live with the thought that today my child has never fully eaten a meal. And each time to persuade and swear about the food already had no strength. Therefore, the practice with a trash can immediately dragged into its arsenal. Surprisingly, after just a couple of such dramatic productions, the child held on to the bowl with both hands, saying that he would eat everything!
But not everything turned out as rosy as it seemed at first. Yes, the readiness to dine was expressed very categorically, but in practice it turned into another test of my mother’s patience. A child with a dreamy look kopinochke sent food in his mouth and chewed it thoroughly 33 times. And even forgot to chew, and sat all in his dreams.
I once even time spotted. How much do you think a child needs to eat three spoons of cereal? It turned out something about 5 hours. Suggestions like, do not want to eat, let’s throw out, met a desperate protest. But somehow there was by chance an antidote to this situation.
I just offered to count how many spoons of porridge still left in the plate. All was baked in 5 minutes. The contrast compared to 5 hours was striking. Now, it’s true, and this does not always work, sometimes I just keep the score, after which I’m going to throw out this mess, which I hate myself. But we have no problems with refusal to eat.
Of course, maybe this is not entirely pedagogical, maybe I solve, rather, my problems, and not my daughters. But I am not ready to live with the thought that my hungry child is walking nearby. Or is it necessary to solve something with your cockroaches in your head?