Uninvented life story: my friend went to the store with her 3-year-old daughter to choose a scooter. The seller, wanting to please the customer, asked: And who is she for you? Princess, robber, mama’s daughter? A friend of mine looked at her daughter, who was sadly examining scooters and bicycles, and said: She’s a whiner!
Diagnosis or nature
And the truth is, because I have never seen her daughter happy life! Most often she hung on her mom and ached. Then sand was poured into her sandal, the boy took her shovel, she wanted to go home, she did not want … The tired mother of the girl simply did not react to nagging, or got rid of the phrase: “Noah!
They went around all the doctors, thinking that there were deviations in physical development, but the girl was absolutely healthy. Such a character – parents sighed. Not really, – one mom with psychological education answered them.
Why do they whine
All children are whining! Just some do it systematically, while others rarely. In fact, there is only one reason: discomfort. You just need to find its cause. Sometimes it can be physiological, just a baby can not always correctly say that it hurts. But most often the reason lies in psychological discomfort.
And here it is more difficult to find reasons, perhaps you need to stomp to a professional so that he can get to the bottom of it. So did my friend.
Having met them in a couple of months, I just did not recognize the girl. She was absolutely calm, never, while we were talking, she didn’t get sick and asked to go home. Overgrown? – I asked. No, we have learned to deal with whining – a friend answered.
Of course, each case is individual. But to me, an example of a friend often allows me to cope with the whining of my children. These are the ways she uses to combat whining, and now I use it.
- Never tell a child not Noah !. Why? That you understand the meaning of the phrase well, but for a 2–3 year old child the meaning is simply not clear!
- Whining is a technique that worked once, most likely it happened in early childhood, and you don’t remember exactly when. Now the child uses this method as the only correct one. You just need to show a more effective way to achieve your goal. My friend came up with this: Mom, love … But! In this case, you should always respond to requests so that the child does not return to the past, more efficient way.
- But the most important thing is to find the main reason for whining. Most often this is a lack of attention. A problem may arise for various reasons: the appearance of a younger child in the family, the parents have a family crisis, the mother went to work, moved, going to the garden …
Of course, these tips are not a panacea, but they helped my friend, now I have adopted them. Maybe they will help you?