I think, sooner or later, every parent is faced with the fact that the beloved child does not obey and is capricious. I am in this regard – no exception. The vagaries and disobedience are familiar to me from an early age daughter. At about 2 years old she was an unbearable child. No pleas or persuasion acted upon her.
Now the situation is a little easier. My daughter has matured, especially with the advent of her brother. She became intelligent, even grown-up to look at many things. Maybe for a brother to look, and feed him, and collect toys for him. But to be honest, this is not always the case.
Imagine such a picture: they reminded the child to remove the bed – and he does it for a moment, they said to remove the toys – and he quickly removes everything. Well, is not it a fairy tale? I have always dreamed and dream about it!
My house, and especially our room with children, very often resembles a warehouse of toys and clothes. It seems that we do not have two children, but a kindergarten. Or not Seryozhka, but a lot of Seryazhek and Antoshka came to visit
Well, are there ideal children? Which without reminders and threats do everything themselves? Do they clean the bed in the morning and sit down for breakfast? Most likely, you will skeptically smile or wave your hand. Obedient children, especially in our time – the greatest rarity.
Why all the requests of parents should be carried out? What are you asking from your children? I often ask my daughter just to calm down, sit down and sit. But, as sung in the children’s song, the child is a perpetual motion machine, a perpetual bouncer … I, in my incomplete 25 years, get very tired. And, as an old woman, I just want to sit down for a while.
I also ask you to do small things around the house: remove the toys behind me and my brother, to which I get a reply: And Yegor has scattered it all, so let him collect it himself !. In many ways, she knows how to cheat, get away from cleaning.
And yet, I understand that my requests must be fulfilled. After all, if I ask for something, it means that it is important to me. And if a child does not listen, it means that he simply does not respect me, my opinion. From here – laziness, unwillingness to come to the rescue and support.
If the crumb fulfills what he is told, it is a pledge of a successful and fruitful day, calm and parents, and the child himself. Requests for cleaning his workplace, the game room teaches the kid to clean and tidy. This is especially important for girls, future housewives.
Remember yourself in childhood. Have you always been obedient and perfectly executed everything? My father, for example, very often recalled his childhood. There were three of them in the family. And his mother, my grandmother did not always pay him due attention. Therefore, children were often left to themselves. He ignored all requests for housekeeping or household help, shifting him to his older sister or brother. And then talked about how he got into it.
In my childhood I tried to obey my parents. But she felt like a black sheep. I didn’t like such obedience at all, and I felt depressed. At a time when the children were walking in the courtyard in the salons, I sat for lessons, because my mom or dad wanted so much. And I wanted to play!
Now, subconsciously deciding that I have enough obedience, I do everything in defiance. And often she points to her parents. And everything is wrong for me: the dishes are not so washed, the floors are not so wiped. Obedience grew into disobedience, but already in adulthood.
Is it bad disobedience?
To calm down completely, you should think carefully. What is disobedience? This is nothing more than a simple attempt to show independence, your personal opinion. And if a child refuses to do what you want, then he does not do you any harm, but he simply has his own point of view on this matter.
Each person is individual, do not forget about it. And when the baby is naughty, he thinks like many adults: I will do as I want, not as I am told. Often you need to look at the world through the eyes of a child. Remember your childhood and draw the appropriate conclusions.
But systematic disobedience and total disregard has its fruits. You can grow a lazy, independent and callous person. He may not be ready to help in a difficult moment, as he simply did not do this in childhood.
So what to do?
At every moment I try to fully understand my children. The eldest daughter helps in the mood, and the youngest son is still small to help me with the housework. Why make do when the kids do not want?
I came to the conclusion that you need to be able to negotiate! Believe me: on time, fulfilled requests will increase if you learn to negotiate with the child. The child will become more obedient, and you, accordingly – calmer and happier!
And what can you add to my topic? Your children obey, how did you achieve their obedience?