Главная 7 Preschoolers 7 Little judge: is it possible for children to participate in the quarrels of parents, preschoolers

Little judge: is it possible for children to participate in the quarrels of parents, preschoolers

Once, while visiting friends, I watched a doubly ugly scene.

Not only did our mutual acquaintances staged a real scandal, without being embarrassed by the presence of strangers, but this whole unpleasant scene took place in front of their three-year-old daughter, who unexpectedly spoke to us all at the end of a quarrel: Well, what kind of father? Some idiot …

Mom’s reaction to this remark could be described as an approving silence. Everyone present was immediately embarrassed, and I thought about the question of whether children should in principle take part in the quarrels of their parents.

Quarrels of parents – a step into the adult world


Attracting children to participate in adult quarrels allows them to step into the adult world, where everything is not always cloudless and in the event of conflicts you need to be able to defend yourself. Only now the question arises whether to train the child in this way, showing him by no means the best example.

Another thing is if the quarrel ends in reconciliation: in this case, the child can learn how to find a compromise both in the future family life and in general in relationships with other people.

Another argument that can be made in favor of the participation of children in adult conflicts is that in this case the child is aware of family problems, which, with a rational approach, provides greater openness in the relationship between parents and children.


However, a sensible approach is key here. Of course, you should not devote children to adult problems that they cannot understand due to their age.
Also, one should not drag a child into an altercation as a judge who must choose which of the adult rights or who is to blame. Such judging will not lead to anything except psychological trauma.

The child must be protected from all bad


There are absolutely opposite examples. A friend of mine never allowed herself to quarrel with her husband in the presence of her son. This was explained by the fact that children need to be protected from everything negative, so they do not need to see the mum and dad arguing.

One can only imagine what a blow to the child was the unexpected divorce of this couple. After all, he did not know that the seemingly ideal relationship between parents was no longer such.

As a result, a ten-year-old boy became very distant from both his father and his mother, turned into a withdrawn and irritable child, and began to spend more and more time on the street with friends. Perhaps, so sharply reacting to the deceit from the parents, he absolutely ceased to share his problems with them.

As a result, the story ended sadly: as a teenager, the boy got into a very unpleasant story, which his parents did not succeed in finally resolving …

So what is better: to quarrel in private in a whisper or to give vent to your emotions, not hesitating the presence of a child? It seems to me that there is no unequivocal answer, and each couple decides this question in its own way.

But still there are such things that, in my opinion, are simply unacceptable. These are mutual insults and fights (which, in principle, are generally unacceptable in a normal family, not only in front of children).


In addition, it is wrong to drag a child to your side and try to make him a little judge in an adult conflict. Indeed, in this case, he will have to make a painful choice in favor of one of his beloved and dear people. And the result of such a choice is a feeling of guilt and alienation towards the guilty side of the dispute.

Of course, in family life can not do without disagreement. There is nothing terrible if a child becomes their witness (but not a participant!) In the event that parents without unnecessary emotions explain the reason for the dispute (for example: We quarreled with dad because he wanted to meet with his friends today, and I had some other plans for this weekend), and, of course, they will later reconcile, finding a compromise solution.

О admin

x

Check Also

Sports competitions for preschool children, preschoolers

Unprepared for children, the playground inspires frank horror: everyone there runs somewhere, collides, falls … ...

Sports games, preschoolers

In fact, almost all mobile games develop reactions – the main thing is that there ...

Sports games for children, preschoolers

Today, many parents are passionate about early childhood development. Kids learn letters a year, and ...

Gym at home, preschoolers

I believe that before school parents should focus on the physical development of the child. ...

Sports for a child in 2 years, preschoolers

I have always paid a lot of attention to the physical development of my children, ...

Sports for children from 3 years old, preschoolers

Many parents decide that it is time to engage in sports when the child is ...

Sports in the life of a child, preschoolers

My daughter has been involved in sports for 2 years. A very small husband brought ...

The list of necessary things for the first grader, preschoolers

Next year my daughter will go to school. We have already decided on the school. ...

Do you need a specialized school, preschoolers

Recently wrote to this topic in the comments, but I feel that the topic is ...

Social networks for children are dangerous, preschoolers

Nowadays, children get acquainted with computers and the Internet very early. When I was 5-6 ...

Socialization of the modern child what it should be, preschoolers

Have you ever thought about the socialization of a child? Is it enough for him ...

Sorter entertaining toy, preschoolers

Sorter appeared not so long ago, but had already gained great popularity. This toy is ...

Rivalry between girls, preschoolers

My daughter had a girlfriend in kindergarten. Rather, children used to go to the kindergarten ...

Sunglasses for children, are they needed, preschoolers

With the onset of spring, I do not leave the house without sunglasses. I do ...

Sunscreen milk Eveline for children, preschoolers

Since we started to go to the sea in the summer, I have been buying ...

Modern cartoons for preschoolers, preschoolers

Cartoons are a controversial topic. Someone thinks that TV and computer are evil, and the ...

Modern development of children, preschoolers

Time does not stand still, everything changes – and the level and speed of development ...

Soviet cartoons, preschoolers

I think cartoons are a part of each child’s childhood. In recent years, a lot ...

Soviet toys or Chinese analogues, preschoolers

When I was a little girl, I had a lot of toys that my parents ...

Soviet children’s books, preschoolers

I – 26, and I still belong to the generation that grew up on Soviet ...

We are going with the children in the forest on a one-day trip, preschoolers

It so happened that there are no large parks in my city, but the forest ...

Death of loved ones and children’s impressionability, preschoolers

Recently, my mother and I had a dispute. She argues that it is not necessary ...

Difficult adaptation time in kindergarten, preschoolers

The child went into the garden, now he is without mom all day. But recently ...

We follow the literacy of children’s speech, preschoolers

As far as I like literate and clear speech, it was so unpleasant for me ...