Recently, in the social media feed I was offered to watch a video of a certain psychologist. There he talked about the parents and the intricate names that they give to their children. They say it is not good for a child and a person when he associates himself with unpleasant words. But for some reason these arguments touched me greatly.
The main thought of the psychologist
The main idea of the psychologist was this: convoluted names are a way for parents to show off before others, but children suffer from this. Because they have the opposite, the main goal – not to stand out from the crowd. Therefore, they are often shy and feel uncomfortable in a peer society.
At first glance, a rational thought, but I was outraged by its generality and categorical nature. I don’t know, maybe I just didn’t like a psychologist by himself. Now I understand that this was part of the recording from a webinar, so the words were taken out of context. But the thought already rushed and it did not stop.
Most importantly, I would like to clarify, about what age child is he talking about? Indeed, at different ages, not only their own name, but also the world are perceived differently.
1. For children up to 3-4 years, in my opinion, it doesn’t matter at all as they are called. For such a child, the name is a beacon that refers specifically to him. Therefore, in the kindergarten, children at that age do not ridicule anyone because of the name.
2. Approximately from 5 years old and, probably, before the start of school, children already understand that names are different, that there are typical and unusual names. But I do not observe that animal fear of being outside the crowd about which the psychologist spoke.
My daughter has a not very common name. At least, our district pediatrician said that she was alone with her that name on the site. Specially asked my daughter if she likes her name?
It turns out not like it! She likes the name Lisa, Diana, Anya – the names that the girls like her in kindergarten wear. I think there are no comments here.
3. From 8 to 18 years old – this is puberty, followed by a transitional period. We have not yet passed it, but from my own experience I can say that it is at this age that thoughts may arise about the failure to take one’s name. I always didn’t like the name Lyuda, but I took Ludmila calmly.
4. Adults who remain children. When an adult does not perceive his name, it seems to me that the problem lies in the rejection of some part of himself. I don’t care now, they call me Lyuda, Lyudmila or Lyusya. I now have brains turned completely the other way and such little things do not bother.
Adults can always find a convenient solution. For example, one of my distant acquaintance on the passport is called Ladomir. In order to avoid all sorts of questions, he always seems to be a new acquaintance, like Vladimir. And yet, the problem simply does not arise.
In the end, we won’t ask the baby what name he likes. Although some mothers said that they chose the names of pregnant women with their children. And everyone was happy.
How do you feel about non-standard names?