When we were just about to go to the garden, I was very afraid that other children would offend him there. My boyfriend was generally calm last summer, never offended anyone, took away toys and was always inferior in everything.
Admission to the garden
And now it’s time to go to the garden. A lot of kids in the group were from our yard. One boy, I knew that I was fighting and biting, even in the courtyard with my parents. I thought, what will be in the garden with minimal supervision?
Admission to the group of new children happened as follows. They were taken by 2 people per week. Our turn was already at the end of September. From other parents, I already knew that several girls in our group bite, fight and hustle.
And so we went. I spent the first days examining him, trying to find traces of a crime from other children. But they were not. A month later, the teacher said that my son had learned to give change.
Once I came to pick him up, and he had a lump on his forehead, the teacher said that his girl hit a shovel. In general, in our group, girls are much more aggressive than boys. Vanya told her that if you hit me again, then I won’t talk and sleep with you. And they sleep in the next bed. Oddly enough, it had an effect on her. Now they are best friends.
Understand the situation if the child is offended
Of course, I immediately want to give the change to the one who hurt your child. But most often conflicts do not arise out of the blue. Children are sometimes more cruel than adults. To solve the situation peacefully, decide why it arose.
1) ridicule due to appearance
Children can laugh at the other for being somehow not so dressed or he does not have a cool car. But this is more at an older age, and in 3 years conflicts occur most often due to the fact that they cannot divide a territory or a toy.
In a situation with toys the tutor should monitor this. Explain that it is necessary to share and concede, and not to solve the matter with fists.
And if they laugh at the child because of the hairstyle, protruding ears or ugly clothes, then the parents need to exert maximum efforts to correct this matter. Change the hairstyle, buy fashion items, because for children look no worse than others, it is very important.
2) ridicule due to behavior
Children can sometimes behave badly with other children if they are calmer, quiet and taciturn.
The decision can be to raise confidence in children, tell him how good, smart, and strong you are. Teach him something that can surprise other children, then he will feel much more confident in the team. You can give it to a dance, gymnastics or other sports section.
Abandonment of the garden
My friend’s daughter refuses to go to kindergarten now. Her mother for a long time could not understand why this is happening. And then it turned out the following. A new girl came to the group who was aggressively disposed towards many in the garden. She could grab her teeth for any trifle, and so that the teacher could hardly unclench them.
As a result, Alinka did not want to go to this group at all. Then my mother decided to approach the situation in a very serious way. During the week, she tried out stories with her daughter when she had conflicts with children.
How to be?
1) Teach to respond to aggression.
A child in three years does not know how to solve conflicts, except for tears or fists. Therefore, you need to tell him. How to react in a given situation.
I think that first you need to try to solve everything with words. Say: Do not touch me, I can not be beaten and hurt. All this needs to be said with a confident voice with a proudly raised head, eyes to eyes.
2) Physical actions
I do not like physical violence. But sometimes they are more effective than any words. With a year old I explain that girls can not be beaten in any case. But the boys, if they got it, you can give change.
My sister always taught a niece like that. Sonechka, you can’t offend children, you can’t beat them. Several times she still got in the garden. To which her mother replied: Tell me that if they hit you again, you will give the change. And Sonya and the godmother advised her in a different way: Sonya, you first, give her in the forehead, next time she will not climb. I think in some cases this is the most appropriate method.
Words can be more effective than force. But still the child must know all permissible reactions to the offense. Every day, taking him from the garden, ask how the day went, what was in the garden.
Let the child know that you are behind it and always come to the rescue. Knowing what is bothering him, you can quickly react to the situation. Teach him how to communicate with peers, talk to your child and your caregiver about relationships in a team, and then you can easily help your child solve conflicts.