Despite the fact that many people consider me calm and my daughter obedient, from time to time my lovely baby brings me to the point where I have to raise my voice to her. Yes, I am ashamed and I know that it is impossible to do this, but I work on myself in this direction.
This is one of the most popular advice from fashionable nowadays child psychologists. Its essence consists in leaving the battlefield instead of clarifying the relationship with the child. Go wash, talk on the phone, paint your nails, in the end.
For me, this method is not very clear. For example, we need to dress in the garden or have lunch, the daughter doesn’t react to my requests to stop drawing, and I have to go drink coffee until she deigns to obey me? During this time, the garden will close and the food will mold.
This also includes advice to count up to fifty, retiring, for example, in the bathroom. Remember how Charlotte did in the movie Sex and the City when the daughter smeared scarlet paint on her mother’s Valentino white skirt? She locked herself in the bathroom and cried. For me, this option is also not very suitable – I do not like to avoid dialogue and delay the solution of the conflict. However, it is possible that this method will seem suitable to someone.
Go to a whisper
Oddly enough, but it works. Instead of screaming, lower the tone. This method is often used during public speaking – usually this is enough to attract the attention of the audience. It may not work with all the children, but it affects my daughter.
It will be more effective if you sit down so that your face is at the level of the baby’s face. Thus, you seem to be on an equal footing with him, not showing your superiority.
It would be more correct to call this method Awareness of the consequences of disobedience. For example, I call my daughter to dress for a walk with friends, and she pretends not to hear, because she draws, watches a cartoon and makes her doll hair-do.
In that case, I undress and start doing my own business. And when the child finally deigns to get up and start gathering on the street, I inform you that my nestling is supposedly good, of course, that you dress, but your friends have walked and slept in their beds for a long time. Yes, there is no limit to universal grief, but several such situations will not have to be asked five times.
To scream at a child is ugly and in general, the baby is a person and a citizen. However, we should not forget that mom has one nervous system and no one is allowed to try her mother’s patience. Everyone has their own methods of working with young people. What applies to all children – to cultivate and inculcate respect for parents should be what is called from the cradle, so that later it would not be excruciatingly painful.
Children, they are not so stupid and insensible, as it seems. And your transition to cry for them is a sign of your defeat, loss of control over the situation. Be a calm mother, learn to smooth out conflict situations, look for an individual approach to the child.
Watch out for the behavior of other moms with children. After several times I looked from the side at how my mother scolds the baby on high tones, I was very ashamed of my similar behavior. Do not hesitate to apologize to the child, if you went too far during the educational conversation.
And what methods of dealing with the cry you have?