It seems to me that there are no children who are never capricious. Only now children express their wishes in different ways, and parents react to them differently. How to respond correctly? It seems that if you refuse, the child will be upset, and if you agree, then the child will sit on the neck and the legs will hang.
What is a whim?
If we turn to the explanatory dictionary, then we learn that a whim is an unreasonable, wayward desire; whim or fad.
That is, the desire to drink is not a whim, a whim is if a child with tears in his eyes demands to drink exactly that juice with a red dragon on the package and does not agree to alternative options.
Child psychologists call the main one the desire to attract the attention of parents or others in general. The theater exists while there are spectators, and many children are happy to arrange such demonstrations in public places.
Another reason can be called an abundance of choices. For example, when the assortment of toys in the store is huge, my daughter can certainly come up with something, which is not on the shelves. Such oversaturation of modern children with entertainment makes the whims of the series frequent I want something, I don’t know what.
Another reason that I usually try to eliminate is lack of sleep, hunger, fatigue. Usually, I just sort through these items in turn, and if one of them is confirmed, I immediately try to fix it.
It seems to me that the truth, as usual, is somewhere in the middle. Mom often tells me that we spoil our daughter, indulge her whims and strive to satisfy most of her desires. The fact of the matter is that most, not all.
If I have the opportunity to buy her this juice with a red dragon, then why should I refuse, because my daughter wants him? Just because not to spoil the child?
I chose this tactic of behavior: if my daughter’s desires are not absurd, do not require huge financial expenses and are not harmful to health, then my reaction to them is positive. In other cases, it is better not to respond to requests with no dry.
Worse than a monosyllabic failure can only be accompanied by phrases because I said so, because there is no point or not, etc. Is it really a pity a few minutes to explain that a big pop will grow from 5 packs of ice cream, and if you jump from the last rung of a ladder, it is likely to break a leg.
By the way, situations with children’s moods can also be used for useful purposes. For example, teach children to take responsibility for their decisions.
So, one day, the daughter frantically wanted a chocolate egg in the store and even the explanation that we had to go home on foot because of the purchase did not work on her. As a result, we still bought the egg, walked home in the rain for about an hour, but the conclusion was right: And really, why did we buy this egg?
Sometimes it is better not to explain, but to show the consequences of children’s whims. For example, once the daughter is very, right to tears, asked to allow her to eat in bed. Well, I allowed, but she had to sleep in crumbs. This may also include the reluctance to wear shorts: once a ride on a slide in a skirt, the daughter no longer objects.
Again, it is important to tell children about where the money comes from, that it’s impossible to buy everything in the world. Every new year, my daughter and I buy small gifts to children from the orphanage, and every time I tell her that there are children who have neither dolls, nor a computer, nor chocolate eggs every day.
I will not hide, sometimes the technique of distraction works. So, from the purchase of unnecessary daughter can sometimes be distracted by the acquisition of cheap soap bubbles or something really useful.
Another way that works in most cases is to transfer the arrows to dad. True, I try to move away from the banal papakupit, but I try to explain that this purchase is too important, we need to discuss its feasibility with the whole family, etc.
Now I can’t even believe that my daughter could have screamed at the whole store because of the Chinese trinkets 3 years ago. In general, I believe that children under 3 years old do not understand at all the detailed explanations, it is better for them to either give in or withdraw from the store.
And how glad I am that with a 5-year-old child I can now agree on absolutely everything and in every situation I can find a compromise. Still, it seems to me that this is partly due to the correct reaction to them over the past years.
And how do you react to children’s whims?