It is impossible to live without visiting the shops, and very often children accompany us. Baby buy! you can hear quite often, but is it always necessary to respond positively to this … hmm, the request of the child?
I used to think that the cries in the shops emanate only from children who have little toys. Now I know for sure – it is not. Even if a child is waiting for a lot of super-modern toys at home, he can still continue to beg to buy a hundredth typewriter or doll.
There can be a lot of reasons – from the way of attracting attention to the love of the acquisition process itself. The most difficult age in this regard is 2-3 years. The child is still difficult to cope with their desires and emotions.
Daughter at 2.5 years old was ready to scream and stomp her feet at the sight of any pink box, while now (she is 5) she has become more selective. Sometimes it even happens that we leave the store without buying.
Another reason is the desire to have the same as other children. In this case, I try to explain that the daughter should have her own point of view, and not blindly chase the toys of her friends. I also constantly explain the nature of the appearance of money, the limited financial resources and the inability to purchase all the goods in the store.
Sometimes the option works well distractions. In most cases, after an hour or the next day, the daughter either forgets about what she wants, or comes up with something else. Therefore, in my arsenal there are phrases like Let’s look for the same, but better / cheaper or what if tomorrow they deliver a new batch and it will be even more interesting there ?.
The main thing here is not to deny immediately, but to focus on agreement. Well, we will buy, but … And if desire is not weakening, then you have to either buy or look for replacement options.
Most can buy to replace less expensive shopping. For example, instead of a large bottle of soap bubbles, buy one that is smaller. I always try to convey to the child that colorful packaging is not always a guarantee of excellent content. And it makes no sense to overpay.
Many parents (including me) often agree to give in and get what they want, just to stop nagging and tears. Of course, this is wrong, because in this case the child understands the simplicity of the tear pattern = getting what you want and continues to use it. According to child psychologists, manipulators grow from such children in the future;)
In terms of toys, we managed to raise selectivity in the daughter. Now for her the fact of buying anything is not important, if only with the Winx fairies, for example. She thinks in advance about her desires and is looking for something definite and unique. On her birthday, she wanted a wristwatch with these fairies, but without fail, that they depicted the fairy Muse and no one else.
And yesterday, a daughter’s godmother called and asked on the phone which doll to buy, offered to go to the toy store together. What was the answer: What are you, here you will not find the one I want, you need to order it from America.
As for small purchases, here I often concede, especially since my daughter has become more selective and is no longer tempted by the drawings on the packages. Now she cares how useful this or that product.
In the store, I try to distract her with a shopping list, she controls herself so that nothing extra is left in the basket, checks the shelf life on the packages.
I believe that it is important to respond correctly – not monosyllabic No, but with a detailed explanation – why not, when it will be yes. I will not hide, several times we have had critical cases – when we had to leave the store without shopping or spend money on the desired, and then go on foot, because There was no money for a minibus. And it was a good lesson, because more such cases did not repeat.
And yet, whatever psychologists and teachers say, it seems to me that I want to encourage children and buy them, nevertheless, even if in moderation. For me, this is a kind of self-indulgence, an expression of my feelings for the child. Of course, this is not the only way to express them, but in combination with other actions there is nothing wrong with that. It is only important not to forget to explain and talk about the need for purchases or lack thereof.
And how do you react to children’s buy?