The problems of mom’s breakdowns on children were repeatedly raised in our magazine. For my, not long, life in Alimero, I read at least 2 such articles.
All thoughts and advice boil down to the fact that the cry is bad, the child is not a lightning conductor, and the mother needs to control herself. But how to do it when you have 4 children in your arms?
Life to foster children
Until foster children appeared in our family, my life flowed in a completely different direction. I, the mother of twins, briskly carried out my duties, as it seemed to me, of a large family.
Raising two children at once was not easy. These are sleepless nights, and childhood diseases, and the first steps, the first teeth. All this does not pass without a trace. My nervous system quietly began to fail. I became more irritated, my head began to ache more often, my voice began to break at the cry. Basically, the husband got under a hot hand.
I drank some soothing ones. My husband let me go just to walk calmly down the street, talk to my girlfriends. I walked away a bit. I didn’t scream at children. They are great for me, they did not give a reason. Always obedient, not shkodnichali, with each other did not fight.
In the family – new faces
Two years ago there was a replenishment in my family.
Foster children each had their own, complex nature. I, as a mother, had to find an approach to everyone, to catch their tastes, to FEEL their essence, interests, in other words, to become a real mother for them.
This is not an easy way. I became more nervous, more upset. Not always everything turned out as desired. I noticed that I began to shout not only at my husband, but also at children. Moreover, it was during this period that the boom of children’s pranks and the peak of activity began in our country. The children also had to tune in to each other, to win their place under my mother’s wing.
It all came together in such a mosaic, in the middle of which was a nervous, screaming, nutty, tired mother. The last straw was what the children said – I stopped being like a kind fairy.
From the monster – in a good sorceress
It was necessary to urgently change something. There is no help to wait for, therefore the rescue of the drowning is the work of the drowning people themselves.
1. I turned to medicine and treated my vessels. Headaches were gone, I began to sleep well, which is important, my nervous system calmed down.
I realized that there are things that should not be so too responsive. This is a new broken toy (earlier, I would be very upset, screaming at a child for an unnecessary, broken machine), this is not a bed (now I just once again remind you that morning starts from my bed), this and spilled cup of tea.
2. I just learned to sift out serious problems from petty trivia, to which I had often paid attention.
Everything was getting back to normal. Foster kids, as they say, got accustomed to our family, we understood our characters. If there is a scolding in our family, then all my children have the worst punishment – we read books about monsters. And they just hate to read! That’s the solution to the problems. Instead of scream – reading.
And further. If I really want to scold, shout at the child, or I feel that I’ll be lost now, I consider the count:
Rooster sitting on the bench,
He counted his pins.
One two Three –
You will be the queen.
Until I get to the end, all the anger will subside and mother again – a kind fairy.
I will not ask you how you handle crying, fatigue, irritation, just wish you find strength in yourself, be patient and reasonable. After all, the child is not very easy to raise. Believe me, I’m a specialist in this.