We have a friendly, happy family. But it turns out that I am the only one raising children. Husband disappears at work. And when he comes home, he only eats dinner and goes to bed. He spends days off at the laptop or phone. Yes, he works or plays, but children need to pay due attention!
We on this occasion more than once swore. But his answer remains the same: You are a mother, you know how to work with them and educate them. And I will grow up – with them, and hiking, and in the mountains, on the sea! Of course, I believe him, he loves nature and does not throw words to the wind.
But now why not play with the kids? They grow rapidly rapidly, there will be no way back to childhood. But he will not remember when his daughter got the first tooth, and the son took the first steps. My opinion is that he simply cannot find an approach to them. And sometimes does not know how to behave.
The child sees the heart of the mother from the inside
Have you heard such a phrase? But, in fact, it is. Children are somehow closer to their mother than to their father. At least, so at me. Firstly, because I am with them all day and night. And secondly, they do not receive due fatherly attention.
To raise her children, a woman does not need to take any training courses. However, there are schools of the future motherhood (with LCD for pregnant women), as well as a lot of information on the network. Someone earns good money on this, builds a business.
But in fact, motherhood is inherent in us by nature itself. Personally, I intuitively feel my children, trying to predict their actions, desires. Our interests coincide. And I know where you can slap and show firmness, and where to regret.
In men, everything is different. They just feel responsible for their wife and child. Psychologists say that husbands are much less likely to think about the need to become a major or significant person. Often the representatives of the stronger sex take the responsibility to earn money, and all other family efforts are the care of the woman. But the child does not understand this. He yearns for both maternal and paternal attention. And my father’s salary is of little interest to him.
Mom is a relationship builder
With the fact that dad works, and mom sits at home with the child, you need to accept. I would call abnormal the situation when a woman works 2-3 jobs to feed her family while her husband stays at home. You will agree that few people like this family scenario, even though it happens.
And so I decided to create a close relationship between the children and the father. I tell you, it does not always come out. After all, my husband just falls down with fatigue. Yes, and this task requires the use of tact (sometimes acting skills), a lot of effort and mood. But when a child considers his dad to be his best friend, family relationships in general become harmonious and happy.
1. Joint work.
This is the easiest way to approach. The more often dad deals with children in common affairs, the faster they find a common language, become attached to each other. And it does not matter what this common cause. For example, I ask you to peel the potatoes, and they all go to work. Cooking dinner together brings us together.
It is important for a man to know that he is loved. Especially children. Of course, all dads love and pamper their children. But subconsciously, they want their feelings for them too. So when my daughter writes mom, I ask you to write the word dad next to her. Please make a dad a card or draw a flower.
A trifle, it would seem, but dad is pleased when his daughter comes to him and asks for something to help. Or just call him to the table. He confessed to me that he loves when his son and daughter come, take him by the hands and lead him to eat.
To make dad feel like dad, you need to give him that opportunity. I went to the trick: I pretended to be sick, although, in fact, I just wanted to sleep terribly. All household chores instructed her husband. When I woke up, I realized that the children together with their dad had cooked dinner, cleaned the house together, and even poured flowers.
4. Paternal instinct.
Of course, this feeling is different for everyone. There are some men who are not ready for upbringing, even at the age of 30-40. And there are guys who are ready to wash and iron diapers, walk with a stroller and play with crumbs at an early age.
I think a man himself must understand the fact of fatherhood. It is not necessary for him to constantly repeat You must, You must, You are a dad. As the daughter says, here it is necessary to take cunning, affection. Hug hands, kiss on the cheek. Gently ask them to play with the younger one, smile and slip the application or math task.
How did you involve your husband in raising children? Any secrets?