I know this very well, as my son is a pro in this matter. When we had a child, we together with the husband and the eldest daughter decided that we would not scare them and try to bend under ourselves.
We fed on demand, I didn’t bother with the mode. And until a certain point it bore fruit.
The son grew up calm, smiling. Our regime was established and changed with absolutely minimal efforts of mine, practically by itself. We always try to give our son maximum attention. But none of us were going to go on about him.
We experienced the first difficulties when my son and I were hospitalized a year and ten. And this, as we know, is strangers, incomprehensible procedures for the child, injections and often crying children.
My son reacted to the hospital with frequent whims. If something happened: fell, scared, did not give or took away the toy, he began to cry and sniff his nose. Tricky realized that in this case, adults are sure to come to him to wipe his nose.
Apparently, at this moment the son needed our attention and tactile contact. How to change this situation, I did not know. Do not leave it in this form. So they ran to him with a handkerchief for several months, until he himself had passed. One thing is good – our nose was regularly cleaned by itself 🙂
As I wrote, the son is very attached to me. Sometimes, it is not clear why, he begins to act up: his mother must have rubbed the bruised spot, it’s me who should have planted the pot and the machine. If someone else is trying to do this, there will inevitably be crying. In the light of recent events, namely, getting used to kindergarten, they thought about how to change the situation. After all, this is an obvious whim.
I recently showed unheard hardness. The son demanded from me what I did not want to do. I used to say to his request: Well, why do you need this? and … agreed … Now I decided that it was time to teach him that not everything he wanted would be fulfilled by me. And this time I did not go on about it.
Son naturally shouted. It lasted quite a long time. I did not give in, behaved calmly (it was not easy), talked to him, explained why I did not want to fulfill his request, offered an alternative. Twenty minutes later the son realized that this time he lost and agreed to my option.
I am glad that I insisted on my own, and a good lesson came out for my son: the next day, when he again decided to continue yesterday’s competition, he quickly changed his mind and was not at all capricious.
Of course, up to two years, we did not all allow the child. But somehow they were simpler and did not always try to insist on their own. Now, when the son is in his third year, the time has come to be firm. Otherwise, how can he understand: what is good, what is bad, what is possible, what is impossible? Especially, I think it is important for the boy to have a male influence, which means that the pope has a card in hand. I noticed that our dad himself became a little stricter to his beloved son.
The main thing is, we figured out how to behave if the son shouted:
1. Try to prevent crying at the initial stage.
2. Do not try to talk with the child, do not scold when he screams (it is useless).
3. Do not lose composure, regret and caress the child.
With their whims, children test us and the world around us for durability and, as it were, test their capabilities. And we adapt, help, educate and re-educate.
I hope we are not late?