I think every mother worried about how to protect a child from possible harassment by adults. However, at least one of us thought that most often we raise children ourselves so that they easily become victims of pedophiles?
Where to wait for danger
The other day I listened to a psychologist’s webinar on the sexual education of children, where the topic of preventing pedophilia was touched upon. The lecturer discovered startling things. For example, when it comes to such a threat, we usually imagine an unfamiliar stranger to the uncle who wants something from our child.
But it turns out that in 97% of cases children suffer from loved ones and people they know. That is, people whom the child is accustomed to trust, start with him such an unusual game, which we will not tell our mother later. A child is unable to refuse an adult, especially a friend. After all, he was taught to obey his elders.
And I completely agree with the statement of the psychologist, because I myself experienced this in childhood. In the summer, when we lived with our grandmother, various acquaintances often came to our house. There was one among them, whose own grandchildren were already growing up.
He often waited for us at the toilet, which, as it should be in the village, stood separately on the street. The uncle himself seemed to go there to smoke. When one of the girls (and grandmother’s granddaughters had five) came, he seemed to start playing with her. He joked, lifted up in his arms, while at that time he was pawing her where he liked.
At first I thought it was an accident that it seemed to me. But once this topic surfaced in a conversation with the sisters. And it turned out that they had been ripped each one and repeatedly. At the same time, none of us dared to talk about adult harassment. Firstly, the topic is somehow embarrassing. Secondly, they were afraid that they would not believe us and would make fun of us.
Psychologist gave a lot of tips on child rearing. But what impressed me most was that the main ones were universal. If you stick to them, the child will not only become a victim of a pedophile, but in principle will grow up to be a free and independent person.
Indeed, if a child perceives an adult not as the ultimate truth, he will never go on about it. Therefore, from the parent’s vocabulary, it is advisable to throw out postulates like Do what I tell you, You will argue when you grow up, You must obey the Elders and so on.
Of course, allowing a child to do everything he wants is also wrong, so it is advisable to clearly outline the circle of people he really should obey. But it can only be mom and dad, not even grandmother with grandfather.
The child should be able to speak firmly and clearly No, if he does not want something, and not be afraid to get a conviction for it from adults. And, of course, it is necessary to build a trusting relationship with him. He must be sure that his parents will always listen and understand him. And it is necessary to turn out every day.
This, of course, is the minimum. But already in many ways he will help the child avoid unpleasant and even dangerous situations.
What do you think about this?