The playground is a whole world where many different events take place, interesting stories happen and their laws reign. One of them – It is necessary to share toys. This truth is so firmly rooted in our minds that rarely one of the parents thinks, is this right?
Much more often on the playground the words of moms sound: Let him play with your toy, do not be greedy than, for example: This is his toy, he wants to play with it.
I compare the children of one and two years old with respect to the sense of ownership. One-year-olds want to take in hand, which came into view, but two-year-olds behave a little differently – they do not want to give theirs.
Just after two years, I saw a manifestation of this feeling on my son. He became very jealous of his things. A machine taken for a walk, a bicycle, a ball in a bicycle basket – all this he does not want anyone to touch except him.
For quite a long period of time we went for a walk on a bicycle. Apparently, the son missed him during the winter. Almost all this time we almost did not communicate with other children, only if on a joint walk on bicycles.
And when they came to the playground, just a disaster. Other things are always interesting for children, and a crowd of kids immediately ran up to our bike. Someone tried to sit on the seat, someone pushed the button.
The son began to get nervous, cry and sat back down. Thus, we only had to ride again. I did not scold him and did not persuade him to allow other children to use his thing. Why?
1. Difficult to explain.
Come on, try, explain to the kid that his toys will take a while. The peculiarity of this age is that the child is not yet aware of the time concepts and, giving up his toy, he will part with it forever.
2. I do not want to lose the trust of your child.
Recently, a boy approached us, who was obviously going to play with his son’s cars. The son had three of them and almost all the same. We were given these cars the day before, and my son played all three all day long. He invented a game for himself where he should have exactly three cars.
I understand that by giving one, he will break his game. I don’t know, maybe the grandmother of the boy was outraged by our greed, but I didn’t persuade my son to share.
Not once saw how mothers generously give away toys to their greedy baby, and offer him something else in return. What for? He has a certain, quite natural stage of development, can you imagine how his mother will look in his eyes? In my opinion, a traitor. She, in fact, does not care about the feelings of her child, just to look good from the outside.
3. Temporary problem.
I know that in time this will pass. My son will learn not only to understand that he has his property, but also that he myself, and not mom, can dispose of it as she wants. For example, it can give to play, whoever it wants, or change to another toy in order to make it more interesting to play.
Do I need to deal with a childish sense of ownership?
I think you just need to teach the child to communicate. I was worried that my son was uncomfortable, and he could not relax and play on the court. We began to walk on foot and take a minimum of things.
Now he quietly rolls down the hill with a typewriter in his hand and does not look around if all his belongings are in place. He joins the game and is already more calm about the fact that someone took his toy.
In fact, I’m more worried that my son still doesn’t know how not to give what he doesn’t want to give back. He meekly allows you to pick up the machine, and then crying. Here we will work on it.
What do you think this is a problem – a child’s sense of ownership?