Five years ago, the choice of a name for our child arose before me and my husband. Like many of you, I opened the book The Secret of the Name and read among the meanings the most beautiful, in our opinion, names.
Since all 9 months of pregnancy, we tended to say that the boy who was born would be called Nazar, and the meaning of the name perfectly influenced the future of the child, it was decided to call our son that way.
I remember that I was very glad that among all the meanings and supposed traits of character, I saw the phrase baby-good soul. Then I was delighted, but now, five years later, I begin to understand that the excessive kindness of a child can be not only a positive trait of character, but also a reason to think about how you can start preparing a child for life in society so that he will not be painfully difficult.
Life in the children’s team
Maybe I was a little overdone in the designation and the words about tempering character sound quite loudly, but the main thing I would like to teach a child is that, sometimes, you need to be a little selfish so that you do not offend him.
Earlier, when we went to kindergarten in our hometown, the teachers never said that my child had hit someone or took a toy. Everything was different – usually my child was taken toys, he was offended.
Even then, I began to get accustomed to the process of his communication with other children, and was amazed. When a conflict situation arose, my child just left, if the boy wanted to hit him – he just held his hand so as not to get, but never tried to fight back.
To all my questions, why Nazar does not give back, he said that the other child would be hurt.
It was painful to look at the game of the son and the other children, who understood that they would not get their due resistance. And what can happen next if this problem turns into a complex? What can happen when a child starts school?
My Nazar’s cousin, Vika, lives not far from us and often children play together. Vikusya is one year younger than Nazar, but when there is a battle for a toy, Nazar turns out to be black-eyed and bitten into tears, and Vika plays a winning toy.
And this is despite the fact that Vika is a girl, and even a year younger!
As a mother, and despite the many rules of our family, my husband and I decided to start prompting Nazar that sometimes we need to give change.
For a start, we began to raise his self-esteem, since this is the most common reason that a good child, combined with a poor self-esteem, can become a naive child, incapable of his own opinion and decision.
You are a strong boy, and we love you too much to hurt other kids! – Similar phrases began to sound often in our family. We began to tune the child to the fact that if someone decided to hit him, it means you need to fold the cam and try to hit the offender.
The child explained all the same to the inability to defend and solve conflicts – it will be bad for children, they will be hurt. Doesn’t it hurt you when they hit you or bite you? You can’t let yourself be beaten! You are such one and do not deserve to be offended!
One of the reasons why I did not want to send a child to kindergarten for older children, and the next year to school, was that the child was still not enough to protect himself and was unable to fight back in a conflict situation.
The stigma of a whipping boy can be glued to a child very quickly, and with it, it can break the child’s vulnerable psyche.
On the playground, I recently try to have a child play with younger children in order to learn how to get along with them, since older children often solve problems with their fists.
My Nazar is a good soul and in normal quantities this trait will be his positive quality. Now my goal is to show him the two sides of the medal, as he sees only one side of it. One-sided look in any matter is not the best solution.