Fathers usually take less part in parenting than mothers. There are happy exceptions, but this is not about our family. Probably, it happened even in that period when I was on maternity leave and, of course, I could spend more time with my daughter than a working husband.
But this situation persisted after I went to work. However, I do not cease to invent different ways to make my husband spend more time with the child.
I must say that my relationship with my father is also less intimate than with my mother. And so often. Although fathers tend to be more loyal. I remember very well that it was always easier for dad to beg for money for a trinket or ask for help with a friend to go to a dangerous place where mom would not let go.
Why involve the father to communicate with the child?
In my opinion, it is not all that obvious. First, of course, sometimes you need to leave your mother alone so that she can not only engage in borsch, but, for example, go to the hairdresser for a couple of hours.
Secondly, my deep conviction is that the child and the father should have joint memories, without the participation of my mother (because there are plenty of them with my mother’s). This is very close. In such cases, it is better to use situations where the pope can express himself exclusively.
For example, our husband is responsible for musical development, because I draw well, but the bear came to my ear: I do not sing and have not mastered a single musical instrument.
And in general, frankly, my husband brought up musical tastes.
Therefore, our daddy periodically tries to make music and vocal with her daughter. They are not always great at it, but still. This is their territory, where I am superfluous.
The third point: communicating with the child alone, the father sends the child information about his family. Why mom is not needed here? To begin with, I have heard all this many times. It is important for the child to understand where it came from, who his ancestors were, what distinguished them. And her husband’s ancestors are remarkable: on the paternal side there are several diplomats who chose to marry women from foreign trips. Even the Moorish were.
How to leave them alone?
Now, when I am already at demolition and rarely leave the house (due to hot weather), it is more difficult for me to cope with such a task. I used to have a planned day off – Sunday evening, when I left to chat with friends (we played mafia once a week). Plus, from time to time I sent some of my family members to go shopping alone, for a joint walk – no matter where, just to be together.
Moreover, in our case, the option dad goes with his daughter to visit a friend or for a walk with a friend is not very good. Almost certainly dad will communicate more with a friend, and his daughter will hang out around them, turning circles like a playful puppy.
I confess that I often invented good reasons not to go with them or go for a walk and send them alone. And I’ll just take a break from them.
In addition to the above, the husband and daughter often watch together Soviet children’s films. I somehow can no longer watch them, I’m tired after the 505th time. And my husband likes them. He finds film fairytales and films for childhood and adolescence that startled him 5–7 years old. My daughter likes these shows.
Now I am writing, and they hang tulle over there – that’s a nice thing!
How actively are your husbands involved in raising children? Do they have common, closed topics for you?