After reading the title, many parents will think that this is by no means the case. In fact, a lie or a lie is present in many families with small children. Only in most cases we take it for the only possible method of influencing a child.
It is easy to guess that children who catch the parents in a lie will sooner or later do the same. After all, for kids we are adults, a sample, an example to follow. It is the model of parental behavior that the child perceives as the only correct one.
In more severe cases, parental deception can cause fear and even psychological disorders. Of course, it is easier to deceive and lure into the bathroom a child who does not want (afraid?) To wash his hair. It’s only in the future that it’s likely that we’ll have to fight the fear of water and rebuild confidence in parents.
How to behave?
Often it seems that it is easier to deceive than to tell the true state of things for a long time. But why not just explain to the child that it is a little painful to make an injection, but then will the disease pass?
Otherwise, the baby may have a fear of absolutely all doctors, although not all of them are doing painfully.
In order to avoid scandals and spoiled mood, my daughter and I always try to discuss disputed points in advance. For example, what we will buy in the store and what not; where to go, where not and why. After all, it is much better to agree in advance than to indulge in an explanation in front of the cash register.
Many child psychologists advise to play various controversial situations using the example of outside characters. The easiest way to find the appropriate cartoon, which colorfully describes the consequences of uncleaned teeth, unwashed hair and neglect of treatment. Sometimes we use for role-playing puppet games.
Of course, it is more difficult to do, and even longer than to lie, and then the worms will start in the teeth. Of course, there is some truth in this, caries does not sleep, but it is still better to explain.
This also includes the senselessness of stories about evil guards, police officers and doctors with large syringes. After all, this way we, with our own hands, instill in the child the fear of completely normal occupations. And it is quite possible that, having lost on the street, the same child will be afraid to approach the policeman only because he can take him in a bag.
When a lie is allowed
And yet there are times when the child does not need to know the whole truth. In such cases, it is still desirable to hide the truth or slightly modify it. For example, when my girlfriend got divorced, she didn’t explain to her son details about her husband’s assault and drunkenness — she managed to use general phrases about different characters and interests. But in the future is going to tell the boy the whole truth.
This can also be attributed, and stories about the death of loved ones and pets. In order not to go into details about the afterlife, it is better to tell the child a famous story about traveling to a rainbow. The daughter is also satisfied with the story that after death, people and animals live in the clouds.
By my behavior and personal example, I try not to show my daughter that cheating is the norm. After all, it is impossible to teach a child to speak only the truth, while answering the call that the husband is not at home, while the father is lying on the sofa.
Often, the truth is not as bad as we think. And honest conversation is much better than a false answer.
Do you always tell the children the truth?