Boys don’t cry. Well-known truth. Another popular model of education. True modern psychologists and many parents do not agree with this installation.
So I once again thought: Do I have to say this to my son? For myself, I have already decided that with this phrase, as it is impossible to offend girls, I will hardly ever use it. Of course, I do not want my son to be a whimper. But I do not want to bale him with this phrase either.
Just imagine: you fell (cut, hurt, etc.), it hurts you. And instead of helping you, or at least sympathizing with you, people around you make the remark that you are behaving inappropriately.
Do you like it? Want to think about how to change their behavior for the better? Hardly. Most likely, you only get angry. And what to ask from the child.
I have never seen the phrase that the boys are not crying made some roaring kid stop shedding tears at once. He can only cry even more because he does not feel any support and comfort from the closest people.
Of course, to lisp with a boy to anything. In all good middle ground. I have two opposite examples. In childhood, one boy was brought up very strictly, with another he was worn like a chicken with a testicle. What came of it, now I will tell.
He grew quite a good intelligent boy. Best of all in the group in the garden, he remembered poems and loved his mother very much. And mother once re-married. Stepfather zealously undertook to bring up a step-son. Set out to grow from him a real man. He brought up strictly. Phrases – The boys do not cry, Quickly got up, got dressed, went – pursued Seryozha all his childhood.
In adolescence, he rebelled. The behavior so left much to be desired, that his mother once said a terrible phrase: If only 14 years had passed quickly, they could be put in jail. Fortunately, it didn’t come to that, they only managed a specialized boarding school for complex teenagers. It is not surprising that when after a few years Serezha had a trouble with his stepfather, the only reaction of the adopted son was: So you need it.
My girlfriend’s younger brother was a terrible crybaby, whiner and sneak. When we played with his sister, he always spun around us and demanded attention. As soon as something was not on his, Alyoshka raised a cry. On his roar, mom fled to us, and, without knowing it, arranged for us a beating. So it was always, without any exceptions. I have never heard her tell her son that he would not interfere with the girls or suggest that he do something else.
A malicious, malicious, selfish woman grew up from Alesha. The family did not work out, it is applied to the bottle and in this state it likes to beat it.
I think you just need to love the child. To love truly, not blindly. If the boy is hurt, do not panic. Regret – yes, sympathize – yes, treat the wound, apply cold or whatever the situation requires and assure that nothing terrible has happened. Gradually, growing up, the boy himself will understand how men behave, and draw conclusions for themselves. Although, you know, there are situations when men cry. And nothing wrong with that.