Recently I realized that my daughter still lacks discipline, which does not help her at school. I got up and found several techniques that now help her organize.
I was always depressed when I was kicked off: it is impossible, do not go there, do not do that, and so on. At the same time, I didn’t understand at all why I was forbidden to do it, and no one explained it. Arguments in the spirit of you’re a girl, and so badly sounded completely unconvincing.
Therefore, in communicating with my daughter, I took it as a rule to always explain why I didn’t allow something for her, what could be permission to do so. But if I saw that some of her actions do not threaten the terrible consequences, I did not pull her back.
Let them go against the generally accepted standards of normal behavior of the child, but if it gives pleasure and joy to my child, no one suffers from it, then why not?
But, apparently, such permissiveness has a reverse side of the coin. I don’t know if one is connected with the other, but I noticed that my daughter still has problems with discipline. And in the run-up to the school, something must be done about it.
How to fix the situation
As a result, I came to such decisions:
1. Establish the rules of life.
All the child psychologists I have heard have argued that children need rules for life. And the clearer they will be formulated (and even better – spelled out), the better.
This is not despotism. The child is still difficult to navigate through life, so he needs to clearly know and understand what, where and what. Therefore, gradually prescribe the most important moments in life. Coming from the street you need to change clothes, wash your hands; you cannot eat on the couch, first we eat porridge, then cookies and much more.
But, exposing these requirements, I explain why I do it, what I want to prevent and what to achieve. And the most important thing is to be ready to repeat this repeatedly, until the child becomes a habit.
I do not know how and why this affects children, but even on the playground I have observed it more than once. When a mother demands something from a child, and the mother bites, she starts counting. And the baby does! Frowns, puffed up, angry, but does.
I have used this technique for a long time, but during the account I wondered: what will I do when I count to the promised ten, but nothing will change? Thank God, this has never happened.
But you have to give yourself a clear account of what I will do when I say the coveted Ten !. Moreover, this should be reported to the child before the countdown begins. And be sure to keep your promise.
It is hard to demand something from a child to do it quickly when he is not very familiar with these concepts. Even now, when I clearly limit my daughter in time, she always clarifies: And what do you give me two minutes: fast or slow?
Well this question was helped to solve the wall clock with the arrows. The child sees their progress and can control himself. It goes well with the first item. So that the daughter did not declare that she was hungry, when she had already gone to bed, or that she had time to complete the games before evening bathing, I explained to her the time on the clock.
If she wants to eat, she must tell me about this no later than half past seven. Later, I will not cook her porridge. Exactly at nine she must go swimming. Exactly at ten to lie in bed.
She still can not correctly name the time, but is clearly oriented in the hands on the clock. Therefore, it became easier to organize and discipline it.
Do you have your own rules for disciplining a child?