It looks like an incredibly calm mother, but sometimes my daughter skillfully leads me out of this state. Oh, and it’s hard to cope with my emotions, I tell you, but every day I try and work on myself in this direction.
Yesterday there was a completely ridiculous incident, which rather ruined our mood for a few hours. We were at the children’s birthday party, where our daughters were given an ordinary balloon filled with helium.
Even when we were indoors, I suggested that she tie a ribbon from the ball to her hand so that it would not fly away from us. Stubborn and capricious, my child responded to the offer with a categorical refusal.
The result did not make us wait – only we left the children’s center, the ball cunningly left us and flew far into the sky. The universal sadness took possession of her daughter, she was joined by fatigue after a two-hour holiday, and a desire to sleep in the afternoon.
At first, I suggested that she immediately come back and take another ball, to which the child overflowed with tears did not agree, saying that there were no purple balls left. I immediately offered an alternative – to buy her any other ball, just to calm this hysteria. Again failure.
So we went home, smearing tears in our face and wailing Shaaarik flew away !. I tolerated as much as I could, allowing myself only to remind my daughter that I should bind him, as I advised. And now, already near the house, she suddenly wanted to come back and take another one. And then Ostap suffered.
I recalled to her all the recent cases when, as a result of her mother’s failure to follow her, the outcome of events was unfavorable. And, what is most interesting, theoretically, I understood that it was just a ball, and practically in me there was a desire to break its stubbornness and capriciousness.
In tears, she fell asleep. And, frankly, if we were not alone at home, I would run for a new ball. I was very ashamed of the fact that I, an adult, could not keep myself in the hands because of a ball. And what was my joy when, after sleep, she drew conclusions, she approached me and apologized for her behavior with words that I didn’t really need and had this ball.
In two or three years, the omelette was a favorite daughter’s dish; she could eat it seven days a week in any variations – with cheese, quail eggs, noodles and sausages. Then tastes changed, and the menu expanded. But sometimes, in case of emergency, when you need to cook something quick and healthy, an omelette rescued me.
This morning there were no other options, especially since we didn’t spend the night at home, where food choices were limited. Daughter began to twist her nose and ask for another breakfast. To my calm explanations that there are no other options right now, there was no reaction.
My daughter is stubborn, but my character is the same, and this omelette has become for me a matter of principle. As a result, the omelet went into the trash. All without raised tones, calmly and at ease;)
The daughter went hungry for a walk and courageously suffered hunger right up to dinner. I put myself in her place and my reaction to trying to feed me with an unloved food. Yes, I was wrong, I apologized and we made it up.
Still, you need to learn to own your emotions and assess the scale of what is happening. There has not been a single situation where I would not be ashamed of my excessive expression of emotions. And I am very glad that over time such incidents become less and less.
And every time I remember to apologize for my behavior, which I also try to teach my daughter. After all, 90% of events are small things that no one will remember the next day. But the sediment, as they say, will remain. And the nerve cells, you know, are not rubber.
So let us be as tolerant and calmer as possible. For us, this is just a ball, and for a child something more important. And the truth, as usual, is somewhere in the middle.
And how do you deal with emotions in relationships with children?