Very often, I hear complaints from my parents to my child that he is often naughty and throws tantrums. A child in such families receives the status of capricious, and his adult relatives believe that he does not know what he wants. And it seems to me that often parents just somewhere misunderstand their child.
I look at my almost two-year-old son and realize how difficult his age is now. He already understands everything, but he still cannot really express his thoughts, voice his desires, tell about where it hurts, what is stopping or what one wants. Therefore, the so-called whims often have to contemplate.
How to understand a child
When parents can understand their child, this is happiness for all of them. During a conflict (and this is a conflict), the parents know what to do, and the son or daughter does not feel defenseless due to the misunderstanding of adults. Reasons for the vagaries of two-year-old children abound. And hysterics, as I think – this is from the inability of adults to respond correctly to the whims.
For example, my son used to put on his pants for a walk and help me zip up on them. He is interested. Today, when I decided to put on other clothes for him, he suddenly began to resist, to escape and cry.
It’s good that I immediately understood and tried to explain to him that we can’t wear the overalls that he loves today, because I want to wash them. He showed him his dirty overalls, we remembered together how his son fell in him in the morning and calmed down.
At the moment of calm, she asked her son what he would take for a walk out of toys – a paddle or a typewriter? The son was immediately distracted in search of the scapula, and we calmly gathered on. I think if I became nervous and scolded him, then we wouldn’t fall for a walk, and both of them would be provided with stress.
Preventing hysterics is easier than eliminating it.
I am increasingly convinced that the strength of adults is to prevent childish tantrums.
Very often, parents have to take something from a child, not to let him go somewhere. Often because it is unhealthy or life threatening. My son always perceives such actions as violence and, of course, violently resists.
Recently I turned around and saw the scissors in my hands in my son (my unforgivable mistake). Suppressing the desire to gasp and immediately rush to him to select a sharp object, I asked my son to put them on the table. Pretended nothing special happened. The son turned them about two seconds and laid.
At two years old, the child is already listening to what adults are saying and can understand everything perfectly. But this skill needs to be trained by talking to the child as an equal. Tactics poret, stop here is not suitable.
Sometimes the whims (here whims) of a child are very difficult to handle. For example, my son for some time decided that if he went to bed, then all those who are at the moment at home should also follow his example. Failure of a sister or dad to go with him by the handle causes a loud cry. So we have to pretend that we all fit together, and turn off the light. Then, when the son falls asleep, we return to the unfinished business.
I didn’t feel like scandal at night, but I understand that it’s not good to go on the child’s side either. Now we are thinking over this problem. Probably, there are two ways out: either everything will pass by itself, since the habits of children change quickly, or we will think up something. That’s what we are adults.