Today I want to try to understand what fear is, the reasons for its appearance and how to deal with it. I think that many parents ask themselves this question when they are growing up.
Each person has certain fears, and even so the child, even with their imagination. They fall into such a strange and terrible world, and slowly begin to recognize him. Sometimes children are afraid of what seems like a silly invention to their parents, but these fears may later come to a halt even in adulthood.
It seems to me that fear is one of the most powerful emotions that a person may experience. His appearance may be associated with some situations, books and films that were before.
Causes of fear
1) Specific situation
I love dogs. But as a child, my mother and I went to grandmother, and many dogs ran after the bitch, they did not touch us, but began to bark strongly, surrounding us. Thank God, I did not stutter, and there were no sad consequences, but now, seeing many dogs, I intuitively turn to the other side of the street.
Sometimes we are the cause of fear in your child. Rather, those words that are inadvertently abandoned by us. Recently witnessed a situation. There is a grandmother with a grandson, the baby jumps on his leg and tries to jump into a puddle. The boy does not react to the words of the grandmother that he will smear his clean suit.
Then the grandmother betrays the phrase: Look, the uncle is coming, he will pick you up for disobedience now. And my uncle was a swollen species, and even with a crutch. You know, I would be scared of this uncle myself, not like a child. In the end, it turns out that we ourselves teach the child to be afraid of Baba Yaga, the brownie, another’s uncle or animals.
I understand that it is worthwhile for a child to tell that it is impossible to go with strangers, you must carefully behave with dogs or climb trees, but we must not cross the border of fear, danger and caution. And it is very difficult to find such a line.
The child has a very well developed imagination. If he does not understand, he will think this out himself. Now my child is afraid to go to the room in the evening himself, if I, for example, are in the kitchen. He began to fear the dark, although the prerequisites seemed to be for this.
Remembering my childhood, I also remember that I did not like to fall asleep without light. It seemed to me that under my bed there was some kind of monster, and it would certainly grab me by the leg if I got up. Although now, after watching horror movies for the night, I feel uncomfortable in my apartment without light.
The child may develop fear due to conflict with others. In a family where parents often quarrel, a child may have a fear that the reason for this may be he (the child). If in the kindergarten someone offended or shouted, the child is afraid to go, so as not to continue.
How to treat fears?
1) If the fear is at the level of pathology, then it is best to contact the specialists.
2) If you see that the child is not particularly worried about fear, then it is best to talk to him, try to convince him and dispel doubts.
3) Tell us about the fears that were in your childhood and how you beat them. Better yet, invent a fairytale story where at the end the hero wins out his fear.
4) Psychologists are advised to draw your own fear on a piece of paper, and then burn it and throw it out. Leaf there, then, there is no fear. But I don’t know if it works or not.
1) Pay attention to all complaints and words of the child. Even if a little man tells you about his fears, do not tell him that he is a coward and so a real man does not act. Then the child can close, and you will not achieve anything from him at all.
2) You should not close the child in the room so that he gets used to the darkness (tempered), this will further increase his fear.
3) No need to shout at the child, even if you think that fears are ridiculous and unfounded.
4) Make it clear to your child that he is completely safe with you. Let his parents associate him with protection and trust.
After reading my topic, I noticed that I wanted to focus on children’s fears, and I realized that some of them left their imprints in my soul in adult life.