The mood of children can change amazingly quickly – it often happens that a few minutes ago the kids were best friends, and suddenly it comes to a fight over a scapula or pebble.
The ability of children to independently resolve conflicts directly depends on the upbringing of parents. After all, if the home is taught to select and fight, there can be no talk of a peaceful solution to the problem.
From the very beginning, I am trying to convince my daughter of a clear algorithm of actions: to solve a problem with words, and if it does not help, contact my opponent’s mother. This applies to toys that are her property.
It is obvious that it is impossible to take other people’s toys without demand, and you should ask permission from the owner or his mother. This should also be taught from an early age.
If the cause of the conflict is someone else’s toy, then the one who first took the right to play it (subject to the consent of the owner). I agree, the rules are similar to the terms of the contract, but for several years they have been carefully observed in our large company of mothers and children.
Boys vs Girls
As a woman and mother of my daughter, I adhere to the fact that girls cannot be beaten, they have to give in and help in every possible way. If I had a son, I would raise him that way.
However, there is another point of view, for example, one of the moms on the court (she has a son) believes that if there is a reason, then you can fight, regardless of the opponent’s gender. That is why she does not interfere in conflicts, and given the fact that her child has a very violent temper, children almost do not play with him.
Do not rush to scold the child (his or her offender), you should understand the essence of the conflict. It often turns out that the offended himself is to blame. You need to ask about the situation both sides and only then respond to it.
I often notice that the mothers of the injured children watch with some satisfaction how they abuse the offender. And if the child also grabs the soft spot, it is even better – the rival got what he deserved because he offended their child.
I am against corporal punishment, they are very rare in our family and even more so in public places. Yes, I can raise my voice, but no more. Often and educational conversation has a powerful pedagogical action.
Remember that in no case can not evaluate the child (both his own and someone else’s), should evaluate actions. There are no bad kids, it happens that they behave badly. And even if you scold the child, say that you love him, just unhappy with his behavior.
To intervene in conflicts or not – the choice of parents. I choose the position of an observer – during the walk I don’t follow my daughter’s heels, but I don’t lose sight of her, I always keep an eye on him.
Of course, the situation when a child hits a friend for taking the ball is not quite normal, which is why you need to bring up diplomatic skills in children, teach good manners, learn to change and come to an agreement.
Do you interfere in children’s conflicts?