My child is very calm, not at all conflicting. But he constantly complains that he is fighting with someone in the kindergarten. I do not argue, in conflict situations there are all kids. And this is probably just as a stage that absolutely all people go through in their lives.
But, in fact, just this should not be treated. It is necessary to solve problems as they arrive and, if conflicts cannot be avoided, then at least teach the child to hold the correct position.
Reading the book of a psychologist, I traced his main thought. Conflict is a natural phenomenon, so the child learns to communicate. Sort of, it is. He learns to be friends, to perceive someone else’s opinion, to improve relations with other children and adults.
Do you often witness a fight? In the courtyard of our grandmother there is a boy who constantly climbs first in fights. He offends kids, pours sand on them, pulls girls and fights with boys. His character is very bad! And he always walks alone, without parents.
So here. When he offends someone, for him it is something of a hobby, a common phenomenon, which, as for me, has become a habit. And if someone gives him a change or hurt him – this is a problem and he runs to complain to parents who are aggressively inclined. Everyone already knows what kind of boy he is, so they avoid communication with him. And then he just plays in deep solitude or behaves easier.
Somehow he and my daughter climb fight. I did not push them, did not beat, but did not stand aside. Just went and put hands between them. She said that I would not let anyone fight. My daughter doesn’t fight at all, but when she is touched or her interests are concerned, she will, of course, give up. To solve the conflict is simple: you just need to listen to both sides and explain that the problem should be solved not by hand, but by conversation.
Unfortunately, almost everyone quarrels. Alas, often kids, watching their parents, duplicate their behavior pattern. So, if mom and dad swear, the kid hears it all and gives out the same lines, but already on the playground in front of other children. I noticed this for the neighbor girl and made conclusions.
If we are quarreling with my husband, then somewhere in a place where no one hears us, especially children. In general, quarrels, of course, are better to prevent. For example, it is better for me to do what my husband asks than to swear with him for nothing. Although, in fact, everything happens differently: I listen to him, but I still do it in my own way, the way I see fit.
And looking at my children, I’d better prevent a quarrel than wipe the tears of both of them. I just say: You can’t offend a brother, he’s your dear little man !, or Let’s share toys: you are the designer, and you are the castle. You can not quarrel! Go, I’ll regret both of you !.
For me, it is very important to feel sorry for children after quarrels and conflicts. Both offender and offended. Therefore, children grow up aggressive, because they lack part of warmth and maternal love, fatherly support. Pay attention, learn to share toys and make concessions – it is very important!
It is on this basis of conflict that something happens the most! Children do not want to share with other things. Maybe something in this. But you can always find a compromise and the right way to solve the issue. I consider myself a kind person. And if I have a pack of straw, I’ll split it equally not only between my children, but between the rest of the kids who sit side by side.
I see that my daughter is like that. We once bought her ice cream, and she decided to share with a neighbor girl, as they say, just like that.
Children must share, be friendly and positive. After all, they live in society, in the world of different adults. And, as a rule, it is optimists and kind people who attract such kind people to their surroundings, find friends and wonderful friends!
Do you often have conflicts? How do you resolve them?