Recently, on Facebook, I caught the eye of a picture with a signature. If you are up to 5 years old, convincing a girl that she is a queen, then after 5 she will convince the whole world of this. As for the whole world, the author, of course, got excited, however, we will assume that the world is human surroundings.
I once wrote about phrases that should not be spoken to a child, there were described the consequences of parental suppression of children’s independence in the form that He begins to feel awkward, stupid, inept.
I lead to the fact that everything begins in childhood. After all, what is the main difference between the current child psychology and the one that, according to the canons of which brought us up? In the fact that psychologists have traced and proved the connection between upbringing in childhood and the properties of a person as a person in adulthood.
Obviously, if it is considered normal in a family to consider a child limp, loser, ugly, indecisive, etc., then as a teenager, if not earlier, it will be possible to observe the results of such education.
And they are disappointing – the child doubts his own abilities and abilities, he completely lacks leadership skills and ambitions. As in the famous saying: What is fertilized, it grew.
The son of my friend is a typical example of such education. On the court, she constantly pulls him down: Fill up a T-shirt, well, you and a slob! What are you, stupid, do not understand how this is done ?. Now the boy goes to the first class and it is not surprising that in the team he got the role of an outcast.
Methods and scale of punishment are directly related to the level of self-esteem of the child. After all, the feeling of guilt that the kid is having for his act significantly lowers self-esteem. And if you add to the punishment degrading and abusive comments, it tends to zero.
Respect the child, cooperate with him, find out the true causes of his misconduct. Do not let a hurt insult, over time, she risks increasing in size. Keep track of your own words, because for children you are an authority whose words are an axiom. And what was said in a rush Ah, you ate my lipstick, which means that I no longer love you are fraught with the same sense of guilt and, as a result, a decrease in self-esteem.
How to increase it?
Give the child a task, establish his responsibilities. Let it be just you who are responsible for removing the laundry from the washing machine, but for the child your assignment means that you trust him, that he is able to act independently and be responsible for his decisions. And most importantly, that he is able and capable!
Praise your baby, diversify daily praise with phrases How good that you told me, I would never have managed without you! or did you make it up yourself? Let’s talk about your great idea dad! etc.
Feel free to apologize to your child. Maybe someone will seem a stupid situation when a mother says to a 3-year-old girl: Sorry, I just didn’t sleep, I wasn’t in the mood, so I screamed at you. I’m very regret about it!. But I do not think so, I always try to apologize to my daughter, we even have a certain ritual of reconciliation and a secret signal, which means I love you – squeezing her palm three times.
Remember that later it may be late. Do not forget that your child is a person who must be respected, encouraged, praised, encouraged. Mostly depends on you what will be your child. And if you want to raise a person who is confident in himself, you should start working on it from early childhood.