So twins came to our group this year, two boys. For three years, 30 children lived in peace and harmony, the caregivers could not get enough of their children and happily went to work. But once I heard from one of them a phrase that she could not wait for the end of the working day, and in the morning she did not want to go to the garden.
What has changed? Nelli Nikolaevna told that with the arrival in the group of twins her whole working day turned into a long process of struggle with young boys. They continuously break objects, shout, offend and beat children, are rude to adults and create excesses. As NN put it: There is nothing sacred for them, they have not formed any notions about the correct behavior and there are no brakes.
Children’s aggression on the face, it is aggravated by the fact that there are two boys, and this is already a force. They look at each other, as in a mirror, and are mutual confirmation that behaving like this is possible!
And what about the old-timers?
Naturally, having learned about the situation in the group from an adult, I decided to ask what the children think of the twins.
Sonya confirmed that the twins cling not only to the boys, but also easily offend the girls. In particular, Sonya has repeatedly received a fist in the shoulder, in the arm and even in the stomach.
My daughter said that educators often forbid them to approach children, trying to somehow isolate them, to take board games and puzzles. But you know, the educator cannot stand all day long outside the irresistible aggressors.
I asked Sonya if someone in the group opposes their abusive behavior? It turned out that some of the boys are fighting back, but the majority are rather soft, kind, well-bred kids who have not been taught to fight.
What about family?
From all this, I was shocked. Probably, like any mother, she learned that the quiet existence of her child in a cozy group is over. I became interested in the parents of the boys and where they came from on our head.
It turned out that the twins have a large family, the mother sits on maternity leave with the third child, but these two are the first to be brought into the garden and the last to be taken. This suggests that no one is engaged in children. Moreover, the mother tries to remove them from sight, since she cannot or does not want to deal with them.
This was also confirmed by N.N., she said that for all her requests to calm down her sons, her mother just spreads her arms. I can imagine what is going on at home if the twins behave in the same way there!
Reason for aggression
Perhaps it is this connivance in the upbringing of children and is the soulless attitude of the brothers to others. After all, it seems that hitting someone, grunting and calling them is the norm for them. And it’s not for nothing that I’m writing someone, because not only are their peers under the distribution, but the teachers themselves often swear words in response to the demand to calm down.
What to do?
What to do in this situation? Naturally, the first desire is to ask the manager to transfer the cruel children to another group or, in general, to escort from the garden. But it is clear that she has no legal grounds.
Then it remains to pick up your child from the group, but after all, for a daughter, the change of a favorite team will be a real tragedy!
There is a third option, we left everything as is. Let the daughter adapt and learn to live in a world dominated by cruelty. I had several conversations with her on how to deal with aggressive people. She advised to avoid contact with the twins, and at the same time not to let them descend if they offended her.
My husband and I decided to look at the current situation as a small model of modern society, where we must be able to defend ourselves and stand up for ourselves.
But unfortunately, no matter how I raised my child, it will not affect the aggression and cruelty of those children who surround her.
Only their own parents can make them kinder, softer, and more agreeable. Moms and dads, who should turn to face the problem of child cruelty and try to influence the personality of the children, still allows children to age.
Have you encountered child cruelty?