I recently learned to communicate with children, casting aside fear and doubt. I was afraid they would not like it, accidentally hurt, not to find a topic for conversation, or to say nonsense.
Once I was invited to visit an unfamiliar family, and I told the children something that they did not understand. I was shamed and laughed at me. Since children do not understand everything about what adults are talking about, and I spoke to them in an unadapted adult language.
Find similarities and differences
Before, I was sure that children and I live on different planets, and we have nothing to talk about. That is, I was subconsciously sure, but I myself and someone did not admit it.
Every time I had to make contact with a new child, I felt extremely uncomfortable. You could even think that I do not like children.
I have had little experience with children, nephews and nieces yet, but cousins somehow go to contact themselves, and you can talk with them about anything and behave naturally. But this is because I have known them for a long time. With unfamiliar children is completely different.
More precisely, I thought so, until I realized that I needed to grasp the essence, and not look superficially at my problem.
Children can enjoy life, they are pure and real. They do not need the prestige, privileges of the adult world, money or the ability to be like everyone else. Smile as children can, adults quickly unlearn – in life it is not necessary, you need to be able to be serious in order to succeed.
Adults are distracted by the need for someone to seem, to become something. Children are not exchanged for this, they just live.
Those who have children need to learn from them this primordial joy. And do not shout at the dog, which jumps and rejoices around you, but play with it, rejoice together, pat on the head and run.
I worked as a teacher, lasted for three weeks, I could no longer. The girl who worked with me all this time admired me with her professionalism. When I asked how long she had been working with children, she, to my surprise, replied that it was a couple of months.
She handled the children as I had never dreamed of. Where necessary, she showed austerity, at another moment she already affectionately chatted with one of the children, played with them and ran as if she herself was a child. But at the same time they respected her very much. She shouted at them, it happened, but they did not hate her. I was just amazed. And she decided that she had just talent.
In fact, talent and truth exist. When working with a large number of children, both leadership skills, firmness, and natural optimism are needed at the same time.
Children feel the inner strength of a person, so you need to be confident in yourself. But this does not mean that everyone else is contraindicated to communicate with children. No need to be a tutor to learn this.
How not to be an unfamiliar aunt
It is difficult to take the first step. Then everything will happen by itself. At first, I did it rather clumsily, but I overcame my initial uncertainty, and made the main thought: in dealing with children, you need to be natural. Just being myself, remembering how I used to be in childhood, when simple things pleased me.
If the child does not want to make contact, do not force him to get acquainted. Let him get used and understand that you are not dangerous. After some time, he will come up to you and take an interest in what kind of buttons it is and why you have long hair and your mother has short hair.
A child looks at an adult with interest – what can he teach him? From your communication, learn both of you. Everyone has something to share with another person. The main thing is that you have mutual sympathy. And fear will have to be overcome only the first few times.
And yet – no need to be afraid of someone else’s opinion, if you look foolish, it is only from the perspective of an adult who wonders how you can sit in jeans on the grass. But the child inside you knows this better than all the adults in the world.