Recently, the child began to spank a child more often on the pope — it throws tantrums such that it tears down the roof itself. But we all know that it is impossible to beat children. Or can it? How to do the right thing?
Tantrum for mom
I don’t remember where this phrase came from, but even before the pregnancy I knew for sure that you can’t beat children! As a child, I got it myself from my dad. This extremely wounded my subtle mental organization, and I was sure that I would not spank my child for sure.
And then came the hour when I myself was in the position of my mother. Moms for whom a tantrum is arranged. For mom, tears go wild, shouts stand on the verge of ultrasound, phrases are chosen exclusively manipulative. Well, when it is a single phenomenon. Flashed, I distracted attention, and everything died out.
But no, the child finds any reason to continue shouting: the boot does not fit like that, the stool is not there, the felt-tip pen does not want to close, etc., etc. Such a presentation can go on for hours.
And sooner or later my moment comes when verbal arguments end. I, too, tearing at the cry and slap the child on the pope. How did I reproach myself when I was torn down the first times! But now I take it more calmly.
Once, my mom told me how she got a towel on my back from dad. It was cold outside, almost winter, and she wanted to go to the movies in autumn shoes. She’s already a young lady!
The bickering reached its climax, and dad expressed his opinion with his hands. Before that, he did not beat her. And only this gesture made her understand that she, perhaps, bent the stick. As for smaller children, they say that they constantly experience the limits of what is permitted. Therefore, it is important to clearly maintain these boundaries.
The question is how? Is it possible to spread your hands on a child? After all, in fact, splashing it, we show our superiority, sign in our own inconsistency to find the right words and reach the child’s consciousness.
But again, how much can you look for and bring these arguments? Hour, two, three? But there are situations when you yourself, as they say, in a non-resource state, are ready to scream and hyster yourself. And here the dose of children’s emotions falls on you.
The phrase of a child psychologist helped me cope with this situation. Once you have not restrained and slapped, it means that you just did not cope with the situation. This does not mean that you are a mother-monster and improperly raise a child.
This means that when you come to your senses, you need to analyze the situation and think about why it was so resolved and what should be done so that it does not happen again. And of course, not to slap the child constantly, so that it does not become a habitual phenomenon for him.
I, in general, do just that. I understand that basically these child’s tantrums from the fact that I pay her little attention, I work too hard. Here I am thinking about how to optimize the workflow. I see that the child tries to be good.
Do you spank your children?