Children’s aggression – a fairly common phenomenon in our days. The origins of aggressiveness – at the very beginning of evolution, when for survival it was necessary to be not only strong, but also militant. However, to date, excessive aggressiveness can only bring trouble.
It must always be remembered that the child’s behavior is controlled. The only question is how much effort this will require from an adult and whether he is ready to make these efforts. In particular, you need to look at yourself – how aggressive you are.
Do you often do something in hearts? Break plates, shout – this is also aggression. Blaming is also aggression. And even if the reason really is, this behavior is not an option. Therefore, the first step is to start working with yourself. But since this article is for moms – let’s try to kill two birds with one stone and think about methods of simultaneous adjustment for you and the child.
Sport, sport, sport
The first thing that came to my mind was when my daughter started to behave aggressively and, as a result, I noticed my own manifestations of aggression – this is sport. It was necessary to change the object of application of anger and negativity from the child and life to something neutral. This neutral was a baby pear.
Buy it was a great decision. Pear – it does not break and does not deteriorate, it was created in order to beat her. It takes up little space in the house — it can even be hung in the doorway.
The second thing I did was increase physical activity. From our house to the market – almost 3 kilometers. Now we walk this distance on foot every few days. To keep my back and arms from getting tired, I use a backpack instead of bags. To many people in my town, such a picture is rather unusual, and neighbors sometimes whisper that I am tormenting a child with such trips.
However, in just two months of such walks, I noticed how the sleep in me and the child improved, my daughter became less harmful, and I became angry. In addition, the saved money is enough just two servings of local ice cream, which we gladly eat. Knowing this, the daughter rejoices on the market.
The next item was the game. Recently, my daughter didn’t like to draw, sculpt – generally to do long things. And although it is difficult for me to participate in children’s games, here I decided to overcome myself.
To begin with, in order to interest the child, we bought new pencils – watercolor. If you hold on them with a wet brush – they will be washed away like watercolor. We also bought a new clay.
Now we draw and sculpt together. And although it’s still hard to get along with the child, and I just sit and draw something different next to us, we both began to smile much more.
The third point I decided to work on was communication. Unfortunately, I-messages have ceased to act in our family some time ago. Daughter does not seem to hear me, cut off. So I decided to try differently.
We have a lot of plush toys at home. And so, when my daughter once again threw a tantrum and went into another room, slamming the door, I sat down all this soft community on the sofa, put the toy dishes on the chair and held a tea ceremony.
The plot of the scene was simple to ugliness – he copied the situation that just happened. But only the toys did not slam the door, and discussed among themselves what was insulting and unpleasant for them.
Surprisingly, this method worked. My daughter ran out of the room … For a long time, confusedly and very emotionally, she screamed at the toys and me. I did not know how much resentment lurked in her little heart …
And the next day, finishing the order, I vaguely heard her telling the kitten Gav that she was sad when I was working and could not play with her.
Of course, I can’t stop working. But rebuilding the schedule is quite possible.
Despite the fact that we are still quarreling, and we still have to work hard on the behavior of both, the positive dynamics is visible to the naked eye – at least no one else in their hearts throws things.