I have a wonderful friend who raises 3 kids. I have always admired women who are ready to give up their careers, to deprive themselves of any personal professional qualities for the sake of their children. But I wondered: how can a mother of many children have time for everything and give a full education to their children?
Communicating with Rita (my girlfriend with many children), I realized that she was happy in motherhood, no matter how unimpressive it might seem. Just now, on TV, such horrors show that not only the trembling goes all over the body, but also the hair on end … Young (and not so) girls give birth to a child, and then they don’t know what to do with it. And large families generally rent to a boarding school or an orphanage.
It begs the question itself: Why do you then give birth ?, Why give birth to a tiny creature, your blood, and then destroy everything with your own hands? I’m at a loss. Therefore, I do not plan a second child in the next 5 years, because I can barely cope with my little daughter physically, not to mention the moral and material plane.
Meeting with Rita
Here is such a tired and exhausted, I accidentally met Margarita on our playground. In fact, we have not seen each other for 4.5 years, and during this time a lot has changed in our lives. I managed to get married and give birth to a daughter. And she gave birth to two more kids the same age.
I knew that she had a daughter, Liza, but did not think that she was so adult! No wonder people say that other people’s children grow very quickly. Yes, strictly speaking, my daughter is also growing rapidly, I do not have time for her … It turns out that Lizka is already in the first grade. A younger boy and girl aged 2 and 3 years.
Age is nasty, I know it from my nephews and neighbour’s children. Many children in such years try to show their character and defend their Self. And looking at Ritkin’s children you cannot say that they have a crisis of this age or some psychological problems.
On the contrary, they are so cute, calm and friendly that they do not admire. They sit in the sandbox, they make kulichiki. And go home after a walk quietly, without hysteria. I just could not help but wonder how my friend succeeds in everything: to do the lessons with the eldest daughter and the younger children to pay attention.
Rules are rules
She told me that there are some rules in her life. Actually, Rita was always smart and right. She read a lot and always thought about life. Therefore, she did not surprise me with the presence of rules in her life and raising children. It was much more interesting for me to know what these rules are and how rich her mother’s experience is.
Rule 1. Personal space.
A friend said that in addition to parenting, she had plenty of homework, which is not surprising. But she has a hobby and a side job. And she manages to feed the home with delicious concoctions. She does all this thanks to the fact that the children either help her or simply do not interfere.
I have more often encountered egoism than with such help. My daughter, for example, does not give me anything to do: I am constantly with her in my arms or in a sling. I cook soup half a day, and I have to do all my household chores during her sleep or at night.
But Rita said that she tried not to accustom children to her hands at once. And then she occupied them with what was interesting to them. So she had free time to work or something to cook.
Rule 2. Mom also needs rest.
Mom is also a man and she gets tired. Therefore, children should have an acceptable daily regimen. Mum should sleep and eat normally. However, there are exceptions when teeth erupt, the child is sick and fever.
Regulated rest time and regular healthy sleep contribute to a harmonious atmosphere in the family. Nobody gets annoyed, there is time for a husband, says Rita. The children themselves learn to distribute their time, realizing that the mother should also rest and have time for herself.
Rule 3. Do not go into hysterics.
This rule is relevant for both children and parents. Even the most ideal children can behave badly: act up, demand something, bring the mother or father to a white-hot.
Rita told me that from infancy she tried to prove her point. Not that it was for her, but as it should. If the daughter refused to eat porridge, she did not offer her something else. No, no, as they say.
Rule 4. Costs are not discussed.
A friend believes that it is not necessary to devote children to monetary matters. When a child asks to buy something, there must be a simple answer: yes or no. And I agree with her. After all, it is necessary not only to get rid of constant entreaties and hysterics, but also to prevent them.
It is evident that her children do not need anything: they are well dressed, there is something to eat at home and she does not complain about the lack of money. Understandably, a person knows how to properly distribute money. And buying regular candy-juices-cookies is more often a whim than a manifestation of hunger.
Rule 5. Live without concerts.
It seems to me that very few people succeed. After all, healthy kids frolic, jump, roar. Their irrepressible energy is, of course, a sign of good health. But sometimes this behavior is enraged.
Therefore, you need to give their concerts enough attention. And then you can quietly retire. After all, the house is full of cases. And because there are various gaming entertainment centers, where you can mom work on a laptop, for example. And the child at this time can be entertained from the heart.
That’s all its rules that I managed to find out. Maybe they are more, but a friend hurried home to feed her children. Do you also have rules in raising children? I would be interested to know about them!